Ahh, cocaine is in the air

No seriously, there is literally cocaine in the air. Scientists using a new technique for testing air quality have found minute traces of cocaine among several other drugs, present in the air itself within the cities of Barcelona and Madrid. Don’t believe me, here’s the link. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,25482049-30417,00.html

Now I understand so much that had been confusing me about Spanish life.

This explains so many things I’ve brought up in other posts. Now I totally get how these tough old ladies can work all day and night without complaint or rest. Most of them clean their house twice in the same day.  It also explains the very poor dental care (blow is very bad for teeth).

Now I understand why the fashion in this country is so eclectic and unpredictable. After snorting an 8ball, white patent leather everything seems like a good idea. Stirrup pants, big hair, and disco clothes are still hot when you’re rocking out to ‘Motoring’ by Sister Christian.

Real discos are still extremely popular all around Spain, and some people really do wear roller skates to go dancing.  There is only one excuse for this…coke.

I just realized that maybe the name Sierra Nevada (or Snowy Mountain) is actually a double entandra.

I knew something was funny from the first fiesta I ever attended here in Spain. This is a tiny little village up in the mountains so the fiestas are a lot smaller, maybe around 100 people. The focal point in most of these smaller fiestas is usually a children’s brass band. They actually pay a bunch of 14-18 year old kids to play instruments all night. Now I had always considered myself a partier, but this party had been going on from 5pm and it’s now 3am and they still hadn’t brought out all of the wonderful free food which had been advertised. I should mention that this is one of the main reasons we went since my wife has never been much of a drinker. So after asking we were told that they don’t bring out the paella until around 6am. Most of the people there were either in their teens or late 70’s, and they are drinking steadily (I do mean steadily too) from 5pm till 6 or 7 am. Without eating. What the fuck? Now I understand.

Going over all of this information another thought dawned on me as well. I wonder if we are actually turning Mother Nature into a coke whore. This may explain a lot. The mood swings; first the earth is cooling in the 70’s, now it’s warming. It explains the increase in violent weather; maybe a tornado is really just her way of making a big cocaine straw. Maybe a volcanic eruption is really just a nose bleed. Maybe hurricanes, floods and earthquakes are all really just a cry for help.

I know that somebody better get that bitch into a rehab soon. If she starts hitting the rock we’re all fucking dead!