The Secret, Tim Dorsey, and the drunken Hemingways
To those of you who know me personally it may come as a surprise that I’m deeply involved in a host of ‘new age’ interests. The term new age is actually a complete misnomer since the same things were taught in the Far East 2700 years ago. I’m on the path to enlightenment, baby! Being a Pisces I am forever enchanted with the world around me. I see magic and possibilities everywhere. So when “The Secret” first came out it was right up my alley.
Anyone who’s read it knows that its basic premise is fundamentally true. It’s based on the law of attraction, what you think about, you bring about. It’s why when you wake up feeling shitty, your day will entail spilled coffee, crying kids, and erectile dysfunction. If you start the day out positively you will impress the boss, get the girl, and make that birdie putt. Yea!
Well I happen to have a mind that loves to laugh and be entertained, especially at the expense or minor misfortune of others. The eternal comedy of human err, is my pet name for it. Humor is usually foremost in my mind and therefore usually foremost in my life, or at least my perception of life.
One of my favorite writers of all time happens to be Tim Dorsey. Like a coked up version of a Carl Hiaasen hallucination, he captures the drugs, sex, astronauts in diapers, murder, strippers, Gasparilla, and mayhem that is the epitome of all things Florida. If you’ve never read him, hurry up and do so, you will laugh until you cry. –There’s your plug Serge. Please put down the home depot circular and walk away from the Fox news anchor!!
Maybe the single funniest scene in book history occurs in ‘Florida Roadkill’ when 50 drunken, Hemingway look-a-likes get startled into a stampede rivaling the running of the bulls in Pamplona, which the real Hemingway so adored. The incident was later dubbed the running of the Hemingways. It was with this scene still very fresh in my mind, and while planning a trip to Key West, (in which I was plotting how to cause an Earnest worthy stampede) that my wife and I decided upon Sloppy Joes for dinner. After sitting down and ordering I started to notice them staggering in. Some are alone, grazing. Some are already in herds. Yep, you guessed it, by the middle of our dinner the room was filled with about 20 old, fat, bearded, alcoholic, sunburned, happy, and rowdy men.
I couldn’t believe my exquisite luck! They do gather in Key West every year for the annual Hemingway look-a-like contest and to celebrate the life, death, and complete sell out of a literary giant, but this was the very first time that they had ever gathered in Treasure Island.
It was then that I truly knew without a shadow of a doubt that the universe is so much more complex, accommodating, and entertaining than I had ever known. Even though I wasn’t able to cause a stampede (I think they were already too inebriated to notice the gunshots), it still made my day.
Maybe now I’ll focus my mind on winning the lottery.