If you don’t watch The History Channel on May 25th, then the terrorists have won!

May 25th The History Channel suspense.

If you haven’t seen this video then hold on to your hat. 

May 25

Tell me that’s not some freaky, scary shit!! I am the first person to admit that I love the excitement of anything new going on, and since the nice ad people did promise us that this is the biggest find in 47 million years, it’s gotta be good. It’s tough to believe that the history channel scooped everybody else on something this big, but…. Oh, it’s gotta be something. Just give me my damn adrenaline!!

What if everything I knew was a lie? I can’t really grasp how our air, water, and life could be a lie unless we’re trapped in a “matrix” world and hooked up to virtual reality brain machines. If that were the case, then why wouldn’t the old fat white men, or whoever is really running the show, just make all of our lives perfect? Then no one would bother disproving the ‘lie’. We’d be to busy kite surfing with naked supermodels on our backs. We should all have the kind of lives that make Bill Gates, Paris Hilton, and Richard Branson stop, and say, “Damn, those people sure do have some pretty fucking awesome lives!” I haven’t checked my email yet today, but so far Branson hasn’t offered to ‘life swap’ yet. – note to self; another reality show idea!!

Then the ad proceeds to show the dates, most are bad, even tragic, 9-11, the Challenger explosion, and the Kennedy assassination. Then two are a bit religious with the deaths of both Constantine, and Pope Pious XII. Then they throw in the date of Obama’s election, which I can only guess at the fact that he offered more disclosure about just about everything. It’s a pretty random, eclectic list, and hard to tie into one theory. So I have to chalk most of it up to overhype. Especially since it appears they hired Don King and Vince McMahon to run this ad campaign.

Then they go on to claim that this is the greatest find in 47 million years. Well, unless they tell us that aliens were here since the big bang, that statement is ridiculous. I’m pretty sure that humans have only been ‘looking to find shit’ for around 6,000 years. Before that I don’t think they gave a rat’s ass about scientific discoveries. So what they are saying is this is the greatest find since we’ve had consciousness. So even if you count since man has been ‘finding’, this would have to be pretty big to compete with ‘making fire’, the invention of the wheel, and TiVo in the quality of life department!

Given the incredible hype it’s hard to guess what they’re going to announce, but since I have an overactive imagination, allow me to make a few guesses!

Maybe they will announce that the 100,000 year peace treaty between the planet Xeno and Earth is over. L Ron is coming back to reign as king overlord. The scientologists were right and unless we kick up 250 grand we’re left out of heaven, or whatever it is that the cool aid slurping stars believe.- That one would really suck though! I’m not giving Mr. Hubbard shit!

Or maybe, some old Jewish guy with a speech impediment has sauntered down from Mount Sinai after having had a dialog with a burning rhododendron. He tells the world that there is one new commandment more important than the others (except maybe the murder thing). “Thou shalt just be freaking nice to each other for a change of pace!” That one would really piss off most of the Christians!

Or it could be that they found the “God” particle in the large hadron collider at CERN. Awoken, God is now communicating directly to us from Sirius satellite radio!

It could be that they found the missing link in the evolutionary scale. Even though this possibility seems the most likely, I can’t fathom what an ancient Lemur-Dino-Sapien has to do with 9-11 or the moon landing. So it couldn’t be that. Yea right.

The very end of the commercial features an illuminati type eye opening on the planet. You know that the conspiracy theorist crowd is beating off into their tin foil hats about 7 times a day to this scene. Play, jerk, rewind. Ad infinitum. I do know that such a society exists but it’s no secret. Otherwise how could a former CEO of a ‘war’ corporation become vice president, and then lead us into an unnecessary war that made the same company close to 20 BILLION dollars in profit from no bid contracts. The top 3 percent make 99% of the money and control the world. It’s not a secret at all!

Whatever it is they ‘disclose’, I’m sure they will make a strong point in the first 55 minutes of the hour long show, and then proceed to debunk the whole thing in the last 5 minutes. Thoroughly pissing me off!!

I for one will be excitedly waiting with bated breath for the 25th. I just know I’ll be disappointed by reality again! Damn stupid reality!