Zodi’s Blog

Is This Really On?

I’ve been out of the prime time, must-see TV loop for two years now. We don’t even own a TV over here, what would be the point? I’d have to buy a satellite as well, and still only get BBC. And watching condensation form on a cold glass (F.G.) would be more appealing than that. All we’ve ever done was downloaded the few shows that we watched from Pirate Bay.

Now that we’ve totally caught up with Lost, Mad Men, Survivor, 30 Rock and The Office, I thought I’d look for something new to numb my brain for an hour or two every night. So I went back to Pirate Bay, clicked on TV Shows and then Show All Series. What came up surpised even me and I’m the creator of such quality programming as Amserdam After DarkAnimals Relations with Dr. Drew and Alcoholic Acrobats.

Having never seen these shows or even heard of them, I’m just taking educated guesses at what they actually might be about. If I’m wrong, and/or if any of these shows are any good, please let me know.  

Hotter Than my Daughter– Woody Allen re-evaluates his life choices?

Trailer Park Boys– A spin-off of Cops; with the point of view from the other side of the cuffs?

 

Acapulco Heat– A Weather Channel show about the obvious? Or porn?

Dirty Sanchez– A ‘where are they now’ style documentary about the man, the myth, the legend…the man who sprung the ill fated, disgusting fad?

How to Solve a Problem Like Maria– Bschooled finally got syndicated? I thought we were partners? WTF?

Vegas Confessions– An awkward look at real life ‘The Crying Game’ morning after admissions on the strip? Or maybe men having to tell their wives that they lost little Timmy’s college money on a King Jack off-suit?

The Red Green Show– The host interviews Color Brown?

Extreme Paintball, Beyond the Paint– An insiders look at fresh bruising?

Paranormal Cops– Officers in Miami investigate a domestic between drunken demons, a spirit DUI, and an entity tries to buy meth off an undercover.

Build, Destroy, Build– A sitcom featuring Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s ego?

I Pity the Fool– Mr. T tries his hand at bounty hunting. Fails. Pawns necklaces?

Manswers– Burt Reynolds, Jerome Bettis, Eddie Griffin and Jimmy Johnson decide whether it’s ever ok to wear a fanny pack, rent a chick flick…even a funny one, or use hair care products?      

Brandy and Mr. Whiskers– A behind the scenes peek at Kirstie Alley’s weekends?  

Barely Legal– A Law and Order style drama about the Bush justice department? Or Porn?

Dino Riders– Kent Hovind presents A ‘scientific’ study pondering which dino’s Adam and Eve used as working pets? Or animal porn?

 

Age of Love– A sitcom about a senior swinger’s retirement community in Florida?

Bite Me with Dr. Mike– A doctor tries to help patients suffering from vampirism and fails repeatedly?

Apnea– A CSI type drama about Rosanne Barr sleeping on her back?

Biker Mice from Mars– A spin-off of Biker Rats from Venus?

Adults Only 20 to 1– A cute girl picks long shots at the Del Mar track in Cali while interacting with the colorful locals?

Don’t get Screwed– A game show where contestants have to spend a night alone with Andy Dick and Bernie Madoff to win (or lose) cash and prizes?

Girls Next Door– A comedy where a new couple is constantly harassed by the neighbor’s pain in the ass girl scout cookie selling, charity drive collecting, Christmas caroling daughters?  

G-Spot– An MTV Cribs show about where 50 Cent and G-Unit hang out?

The L Word– A game show like Wheel of Fortune?

American Loggers– Definitely gay porn.

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February 19, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , ,

41 Comments »

  1. LOL, I think it was a spirit that caused that DUI I had.

    Comment by Mrs. D/3 Men and a Lady | February 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Hahahaha, I had a DUI as well, just as they were becoming popular and a spirit was definitly involved.

      Thanks Mrs. D/3!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

      • So where do I read about how you ended up in Spain?

        Comment by Mrs. D/3 Men and a Lady | February 21, 2010 | Reply

        • That’s a long story. You have to get on Facebook, or I’ll email you soon. The short version is just that we had the opportunity with very little holding us back, sold the house at the right time….etc, etc, and took it. My wife is a British Citizen but had lived in the states for 13 years. She wanted to be closer to her family for a while, I wanted to explore Europe and we took the plunge.

          Here’s a good post about trying to figure out whether to go back or not…. https://zodiblog.wordpress.com/2009/09/24/should-we-stay-or-should-we-go/

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 21, 2010 | Reply

  2. I’ve seen the Red Green show a few times and found it amusing.

    As you wisely noted, many of the others do indeed have a great potential to be porn.

    Comment by David | February 19, 2010 | Reply

    • I’ve found that almost everything in life has the potential to be porn.

      Thanks David!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  3. Great list of TV shows dude. Well, except the old folks swinging. I think I would probably pass on that one.

    Speaking of Acapulco heat, here are a couple of reasons that I’m seriously considering moving to Mexico. Their weather girls…

    Angie Gongalez: http://is.gd/8JqrC

    Jackie Guerrido: http://is.gd/8JqzI

    They just know how to do weather right down there. 😉

    Comment by Jay | February 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Wow, you just gave me a terrific way to improve on my Spanish and stay ‘in the know’ with Mexicali weather. Why……why don’t they do it right over here?

      Thanks Jay!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  4. If you ever wanted to discover a new use for duct tape, the “Red Green Show” is for you! I’ve never heard of any of the others but I think you’re right about the porn potential! ha!

    Comment by Another Desert Rat | February 19, 2010 | Reply

    • I think I already use duct tape for about 10001 purposes but if he can give me a few more I’ll give him a shot. So he’s some type of MacGyver-ish survivor man/handy man?

      Thanks Desert Rat!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

      • He’s a total redneck in overalls with a sort of gravely voice and a penchant for unconventional repair methods. I get good ideas! (Well, maybe “good” isn’t exactly the right word…)

        Comment by Another Desert Rat | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  5. Hahaha!

    Dude! (er, since when do I use the word dude?) Seriously, we are so alike I can`t believe it. I spent the other night translating the titles of Telenovas into English and then guessing what they were about.

    Turns out they were all about the same thing…a man and woman screaming bloody murder at eachother, then taking their clothes off and having sex in the chair next to the hospital bed where their sickly Grandmother lies in a coma.

    Pretty deep stuff.

    Comment by bschooled | February 19, 2010 | Reply

    • There is no doubt in my mind that we were either separated at birth, or we are one mind sharing two bodies. Wait, that would make us stupid, so not the second one. I remember the Telemundo shows I used to get in Florida. It’s a great way to learn Spanish if you need to learn the words love, hate, sex, mother, coma and kill. The acting was superb and they really, really took that shit seriously. They do have the same type of soap opera over here but it’s only on two hours a day….the rest is what they like to call radio TV.

      You better come back dark and happy!

      Thanks B!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  6. Red Green, is Canuk humour, funny the couple of times I watched it. Trailer Park Boys sadly, is Canadian also. I can’t say if it is funny or not, I was disgusted by the the ads so never watched it. Don’t know about the rest.

    Comment by Reb | February 19, 2010 | Reply

    • Sometimes the things that disgust you the most actually end up entertaining you the most as well. I hate to admit it but I actually saw a couple Jersey Shore episodes….and ended up liking it. People in every extreme have always fascinated me…

      Thanks Reb!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  7. The Happy Hairy Show – Hairy people making bad jokes.

    Days of our wives – Sadly, Gene wanted his neighbors wife, but all he got was the dog house.

    A hundred bottles of beer on the wall – Originally filmed in California, but an earthquake reduced it to all foam, no substance.

    Comment by jammer5 | February 19, 2010 | Reply

    • So the first show is about Robin Williams?

      Wives is about Gene Simmons?

      ‘Beer’ is about Larry the Jackass Cable Guy?

      Some of these sound pretty interesting Jammer…I might enjoy the Wives show. Glad to see you back!

      Thanks Jammer!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  8. I have never heard of any of these but I think I’d watch something called Biker Mice from Mars

    Comment by nursemyra | February 20, 2010 | Reply

    • I totally want to see at least one episode. It’s got to be outrageous!

      Thanks Nursemyra!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  9. Haha, its must see TV. You forget my personal favs:

    The Happy Fun Show – A show about fun, joy, and joyness.

    Pork Race – A show about pigs trying to convince their owners not to ingest them.

    Comment by Fundamental Jelly | February 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Seriously? I didn’t see them but I may have missed them amongst the thousands of others. I’ll see if I can find them…

      Thanks FJ!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  10. Oh shoot, I forgot one:

    Total Loser – A reality show about people with small genitals.

    Comment by Fundamental Jelly | February 20, 2010 | Reply

    • It isn’t about the size…..that’s what they keep telling me while snickering anyway…..

      I just saw the Curb with the porno baby. That my friend is the best show ever made.

      Thanks FJ!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 20, 2010 | Reply

  11. Well, it takes an adopted foreigner to remind me as to why I haven’t dropped money on cable in awhile. I’d like to blame it all on the horrible shows, but it might be the amount of time I spend cruising the Interweb and blowing things up on my PS3.

    It might also be the amount of children’s movies I watch nowadays.

    Or it could just be the unexpected but frequent sightings of scantily-clad men being arrested by other men in tearaway uniforms.

    Good stuff, Scott, and you’re right: sooner or later it’s all just porn.

    Comment by Capitalist Lion Tamer | February 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Now that I use PB, I don’t think I’d ever use cable again. I’ve only ever watched an hour of TV a night anyway. Usually just sports, Survivor, Curb and a few others.

      I’ve never gotten into the whole PS thing. Other than the way back when with betting on the original Madden.

      I thought some of my readers would appreciate that image more than others. Hahahahaha. I was actually looking for rednecks in their underwear but had to settle for the homoerotica….Porn is taking over the world my friend.

      Thanks CLT!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 21, 2010 | Reply

  12. These could all be shows without anyone batting an eye, honest to god. Today I walked by a FOX news booth at the Hartford flower show, and the entire couple of hours we were there, I never saw a person visiting the “celeb” news guy. There is hope . . .

    Comment by Dan McGinley | February 21, 2010 | Reply

    • Actually, they really are all real shows Dan, ready for download today. Go to the PB TV Series page. There were thousands more too. I just had fun with their names.

      You seem more optimistic than me about the hope for our country. God, I hope you’re right…

      Thanks Dan!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 21, 2010 | Reply

  13. Hee Hee. Funny. I don’t know why but I was incredibly amused by “an insiders look at fresh bruising.” That just struck me funny for some reason. Cheers Scott!!

    Comment by Matt-Man | February 21, 2010 | Reply

    • I liked that one best myself for some reason!

      Thanks Matt-Man!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 21, 2010 | Reply

  14. When I was up at Bagwine Schmoop couldn’t get over how much she thought I looked like Red Green. I love his show, I’ve learned so much, but I’m sure I’d be hooked on Dino Riders after the first episode.

    Comment by Micky-T | February 21, 2010 | Reply

    • Everyone is going on about that show; I’m going to have to give it a shot now.

      Thanks Micky!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 21, 2010 | Reply

  15. You seem to have the pulse of the people when it comes to reality tv…dont know that i would watch some of the shows you mentioned..hahahaha..zman sends

    Comment by steve | February 21, 2010 | Reply

    • It’s just a matter of time before one of my shows hits the airwaves. Unfortunatly you can’t blame me for the shows above, I had nothing to do with them….

      Thanks Z-Man!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 21, 2010 | Reply

  16. I really like Trailer Park Boys. It is a bit of an acquired taste but can be absolutely hilarious.

    Comment by Donald Mills | February 21, 2010 | Reply

    • Wait do you mean……nah, I guess you mean the show. Is it reality tv or a sitcom?

      Best of luck on your award nomination!

      Thanks Don!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  17. the thing that is really cool about all these shows is that Ryan Seacrest could host any (or all) of them

    Comment by dianne | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • You are a genuis Dianne. I swear to God, you come up with the best one-liners ever!

      Thanks Dianne!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  18. ‘American Loggers’ is the best gay porn you’ll ever find! HA!

    Comment by Ramblin' Rooster | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • It sounds like it huh?

      Thanks Rooster!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 1, 2010 | Reply

  19. This is hilarious!
    But seriously, I hate to admit it, but I would absolutely watch Trailer Park Boys and Age of Love. Who doesn’t like watching people get arrested and old people trying to seduce each other?

    Comment by lianamerlo | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • I would love it as well. That’s just my kind of entertainment!

      Thanks for stopping by Lianamerlo!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply


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