Zodi’s Blog

Birthday Bucket List

 

Holy Mother of God, I’m 37! I might not have to get any older though. I’m trying an experiment where I focus my energy on my pituitary gland, and tell it that I’m getting younger everyday. Maybe it’ll work, or maybe it’ll at least stop producing the ‘death hormone.’ Anyway, I’ll let you know how that works out for me.  

Growing up, I always thought I’d die at 27 (and probably should have) like all the greats; Morrison, Joplin, Hendrix, Cobain, Merrick and Pope John XII. But I’m apparently still alive and kicking ass….thank you sweet Jesus. Considering that the decade between 27 and 37 went by in the blink of an eye, I thought it was time to write a bucket list. Even though I’ve been blessed to have done and experienced more than 95% of the kids I grew up with, I don’t want to become complacent now.  

I threw in some funny ones as well in a feeble attempt to keep you amused, but most of these are actually from the heart. And hopefully I will accomplish most of them. Any suggestions, ‘taking the piss’ or otherwise are welcome.  

– Live on six continents of the world. I’m not too concerned about Antarctica.  

– Surf Hawaii.  

– Get Ted Haggard to admit that he’s a happy, gay tweaker.  

– Improve upon my ESP and heighten my awareness.  

– Write a book about how to solve drinking problems and OCD. Both of which I overcame myself, on my own.  

Revenge is sweet

– Assist Elin Nordegrin in exacting revenge in any way I can.  

– Live in Africa for a year, and teach children how to read. And anything else I can do to help improve their lives.  

– Scuba dive the Great Barrier Reef.  

– Become Glenn Beck’s therapist. Break confidentiality. Write a book; Arguing with Lunatics.  

– Live on a boat/sail for six months straight.  

– Make Michael Vick fight Ray Lewis. To the death.  

– Do an Australian walkabout.  

– Get Dr. Conrad Murray to accept me as a new patient.  

– Write for Curb Your Enthusiasm or The Daily Show.  

– Finally figure out how long is long enough to have to lie in bed after sex. 

I need to see that view in person

– Climb Everest or Fuji. I don’t mind if I don’t make the summit as long as I try.  

– Take part in Holi or the Festival of Colors in India.  

– Convince poor, white men that voting hard right isn’t doing them any favors.  

– Travel the Amazon in a small boat. 

– Take peyote in the desert. Commune with the ghost of Jim.  

– Spend a month in a Buddhist temple.  

– Disrupt the space-time continuum by making Dick Chaney smile.  

– Cross the Sahara.  

– Help gay people obtain equal rights. In a fabulous way.  

– Make Schrödinger’s cat turn into a rabbit.  

– Golf Pebble Beach and St. Andrews.  

– Train to kick-box in Thailand.  

– Walk the entire Appalachian Trail.  

– Awaken as many people as possible to the magic, wonder and beauty of life.

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February 22, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , ,

53 Comments »

  1. Hey Happy Birthday Scott (no time to read right now)(I’ll be back!)

    Comment by Micky-T | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Appreciate it buddy!

      Thanks Micky!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  2. Happy Birthday.

    I think you could get revenge for Elin. 🙂
    Helping Glenn Beck – I don’t think so…they are at a place where they can’t be helped.

    Enjoy your year……37 is always good.

    Great post.

    Comment by Corve DaCosta | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • I can only hope that Elin will enlist my services. Plus it’s supposed to be a great year for Pisces, so I should be golden!

      Thanks Corve!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  3. Happy Birthday!

    Enjoy your day…..every minute of it…..be happy and don’t look back.

    Comment by trishothinks | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • That’s how I try to spend my life everyday.

      Thanks for the birthday wishes; and glad you stopped by!

      Thanks Trishothinks!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Ok….it is now the day after your birthday…..what did you do? Was it great? And….have you recovered yet?

      Ahhhhhhh

      Trisho

      Comment by trishothinks | February 23, 2010 | Reply

      • Well I enjoyed every moment of it, of course! Just had a great day with amazing people and wonderful food!

        Thanks Trishothinks!!

        Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 24, 2010 | Reply

        • I was expecting a little more detail than that…..you know the FUN stuff! Come on…..details.

          Comment by trishothinks | February 24, 2010 | Reply

  4. Happy Birthday you glorious bastard!
    I am so glad to have found you hanging out here on these Internet Tubes – thanks to Matty for that one

    Love your list and can’t see a single reason why you couldn’t do that all and more

    I truly think you are a brilliant and funny and lovely human Scott

    Have a great day

    Comment by dianne | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Wow Dianne, that’s one hell of a set of compliments, you’re making me gush all over the place! I think the same about you hun!

      Speaking of bastards… have you seen Inglorious Basterds yet? It’s really good.

      Thanks Dianne!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  5. Happy Birthday Scott – Great list but you know that the Appalachian Trail runs all the way to Argentina now so you will need to allocate additional time.

    Comment by David | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Haha, that’s exactly why I want to walk the whole thing. My prize at the end will be a lot hotter though.

      Thanks David!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  6. Happy Birthday dude!

    I love your Bucket List. My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and I was considering doing the same thing. But, mine won’t be as awesome as yours. Lots of great stuff there. And I love the combination of things that would be for yourself and things that would be for others. Good job.

    Comment by Jay | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • I can’t wait to see yours Jay; I’m sure it’ll be packed with stuff that I’ll wish I had added. You’ve been on fire lately.

      It really is nice doing things for other people. I grew up poor and selfish and the little I’ve already done is so rewarding.

      Thanks Jay!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  7. Happy Birthday! You are one of the few people that I know with such a passion for life. That’s awesome.

    I’d avoid Antarctica, too. Elin is way too pretty for Tiger, anyway… I hope she comes out a winner with that situation. Great list!

    Comment by Mrs. D/3 Men and a Lady | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • I feel like you have to have a passion for life, we may only get one shot at this thing after all. I sense it in you as well! Besides, I am half Italian….

      Elin is ridiculously beautiful; she’s not going to put up with that garbage for long. Not when there’s at least 5 or 6 hundred million on the other side should she split.

      Thanks Mrs. D/3!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  8. Happy Birthday Scott. Your bucket list sounds completely doable and I hope manage everything on it 😉 How about the Trans-Canada Trail? The Antarctic might be fun, see a penguin, avoid “The Thing”, should only take a day or two 😉

    Comment by Reb | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Yea I’ll add the Trans-Canadian trail to that as well….but not in the winter. I’d love to see penguins, but I was thinking maybe I’d catch them at the very bottom of South America at Tierra Del Fuego.

      Thanks Reb!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  9. I “WILL” do the AT with you. We just got to time it so the wife is in a comfy place while I go. I’ve done all of Maine and New Hampshire.

    Comment by Micky-T | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Both of our wives! Although mine would most likely want to go. I’ve done large portions of PA.

      Thanks Micky!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  10. Happy birthday to you, with a wish list like that you should easily make another 37 years!

    Comment by Dave Hambidge | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Unless the list ends up killing me… nah, I’ll be alright!

      Thanks Dave!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  11. If you get a gig on Curb Your Enthusiasm, would you PLEASE hook a girl up? That’s one of my favorite shows!!

    Happy Birthday young buck!

    Comment by Candice | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • It will make my life complete if I succeed at that one. Of course I’d hook you up. I could so see you as Richard Lewis’ new, sharp tongued, witty, hot, love interest. That’s my favorite comedy of all time as well. L.D. just epitomizes who I am as a human being.

      Thanks Candice!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  12. Scott

    Climbed Mt Fuji it was okay…..But it you ever climb Everestt call me I will go with you.

    As far as a bucket list i missed my window for a few things…

    Never got the chance to knock the battery off Robert Conrads shoulder

    Never go to inspect the magic bullet

    Would like to tell my boss to take this job and shove it

    Would like hear the Pope talk on Easter while smoking an ounce

    Anyways…zman sends

    Comment by steve | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • I would think you still have a great opportunity at all of those things…except maybe the battery thing.

      That’s amazing that you climbed Fiji! How long did it take you? I’d love to see photos of that sometime!

      Thanks Steve!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  13. Happy Birthday friend. A decent list always will include some righteous tubes…especially in Hawaii.

    Comment by Fundamental Jelly | February 22, 2010 | Reply

    • There are about 15 other places I need to surf as well, but I still can’t believe I haven’t been to Hawaii.

      Thanks FJ!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  14. Happy Birthday, Scott! This is truly one of the best lists I’ve ever seen. See you in the desert . . . tonight I was driving my daughter home from her martial arts lessons, and “L.A. Woman” came on, and she hushed the loud little neighbor I brought with us. “Quiet,” she said. “It’s Jim Morrison!” She knows The Doors at the age of seven . . . I’m so damn proud!

    Comment by Dan McGinley | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • That’s amazing your daughter is into martial arts and The Doors at the age of 7. Where in her life does Hanna Montana figure in? She sounds really special Dan, you should be so proud!

      Thanks Dan!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

      • She is diverse, that’s for sure! She likes the cello; go figure . . .

        Comment by Dan McGinley | February 25, 2010 | Reply

        • The cello too? Damn….that’s amazing!

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 26, 2010 | Reply

  15. That’s a hell of a list. If you manage to tap 10% of that “been there done that NOW” ass, you’ll be more of a man than all the Anarcticans put together (and that includes those manly penguins who raise the children).

    Happy 37th!

    Comment by Capitalist Lion Tamer | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • Taping ass and avoiding Antarctica is what I’m all about. I love those penguins. How cool is that, that they are the original stay at home dads? Plus they’re just so damn cute!

      Thanks CLT!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  16. Happy Happy Birthday to You! I love your list! I have no doubt you can accomplish anything to which you put your mind.

    I hope you have had a wonderful day! Thirty-Seven! Ah, yes, I remember it well!

    Comment by Another Desert Rat | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks for the birthday wishes! I’m of the same mindset myself. All it takes is a strong will and an aversion to full-time employment. Both of which I have in spades.

      Thanks Dessert Rat!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  17. Happy Birthday my friend!!

    I love your list. And I have no doubt in my mind that you will achieve all those things, except maybe figuring out the whole sex/lie in bed thing. (Even I haven’t figured that one out yet.)

    Oh, and if anyone could write for Curb Your Enthusiasm, it’s you.

    Comment by bschooled | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • I know…right? People get so mad about that kind of thing. The first episode I write for Curb will deal with out mutual issue…. And feature Susie saying ‘fuck’ a whole lot. And thanks for the thumbs up; I’m going to give it my best shot.

      Thanks B!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  18. oooh a birthday? Many happy returns Scott! And I’m up for a peyote desert experience with you sometime….

    Comment by nursemyra | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • Sounds like a date! All we have to do is set a date…

      Thanks Nursemyra!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  19. I think I’m your 37th comment which is appropriate for your 37th birthday. And probably a good sign too.

    Happiest of Birthday’s, Scott, my good friend. I wish you nothing but the best of what you wish for yourself. These next few years are the best years of your life! You are smarter and more equipt to handle life and live it to the fullest.

    Excellent bucket list.

    Go out and party like it’s 1999.
    You deserve it.
    Happy Birthday!

    Comment by Candy | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • Being the 37th should bring you luck as well! It’s supposed to be a great year for Pisces and 37 is a lucky number for me as well…so it should be a fantastic year!

      I’ve been partying like it’s 1999 since 1993….hahahahaha

      Thanks Candy, great to have you back!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  20. Happy 37th Scott.
    I’m pleased to say I have done quite a few of those things on your list (8 to be exact) but I don’t think I can pay them forward…. sorry 🙂 Have a great day though and be kind to snails!

    Comment by frigginloon | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks for the birthday wishes FL! I wouldn’t want you to pay them forward anyway, I look forward to the experience and the challenge too much. I’m sitting here tyring to guess which 8 you did now tho….

      I’m always kind to molluscans.

      Thanks Frigginloon!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  21. Scott

    A large population of (PHYSICALLY FIT )Sailors that have been stationned In japan have climbed it….did it back in 95…12k feet…only experienced climbers do it offseason…in season it is almost a tourist thing….approx 200k climb a year or so..dont have pics but do have the stick you buy…zman sends

    Comment by steve | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • I haven’t been to Asia yet, but plan to go this year. I didn’t know it was so common…maybe I have to stick with Everest after all. Was it still incredible though?

      Thanks Steve!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 24, 2010 | Reply

  22. Happy birthday Scott,

    An excellent list, truly. If, when you get your tee times at Pebble Beach and St. Andrews, you find yourself in need of a 4th, I hope you’ll keep me in mind.

    All the best,

    Don

    Comment by Donald Mills | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • You’ll be the first person I call Don. You’d be surprised how often you’re on my mind already.

      I thought Spain would have more courses….

      Thanks Don!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | February 24, 2010 | Reply

  23. A bucket list, hmmm. I’ve never thought of something so strange, wanting something from life, how novel. Best of luck of fulfilling yours!

    Comment by Ramblin' Rooster | March 1, 2010 | Reply

    • ‘They’ say that’s always been my problem. Thanks for the well wishes!

      Thanks Rooster!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 1, 2010 | Reply


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