Zodi’s Blog

The War Has Only Begun

 

 

As the latest tragedy crushes our hearts with the force of a sledgehammer, all we can ask ourselves is WHY? damn it. Onetime heartthrob Corey Haim was the latest casualty in this ongoing war that we are losing, and losing badly. The baby-faced man-child officially expired on Wednesday at 2:15am.

This unspeakable epidemic has stolen too many of our beloved actors, musicians, athletes and other celebrities and celebrity hanger-ons. Morrison, Hendrix, Joplin, Belushi, Farley, Len Bias, Ledger, Billy Fucking Mays and now Corey Haim.    

I know that most of you are overcome with grief, despair, desolation and maybe some leftover teenage angst. This latest calamity has brought me to a personal crossroads; on one side the path is wide and heavily travelled. I chose the other path however, and it is narrow, dark and treacherous. See, last night my abasement turned to anger and my woefulness into wrath. I’ve finally been pushed too far, I’ve had enough and I’ve decided to stand up and fight back!    

No more will I just sit idly by while the God damn, shit sucking vampires murder our beloved celebrity drug addicts. Yea, I said it. We can no longer afford to pretend that it’s not going on; it’s gone way too far for that now. These vampires, vampires my friend, vampires got their first taste of celebrity drug-blood in the 60’s. Fortunately all the hallucinogenics slowed them down and scrambled their maggot-riddled (maggots Michael, you’re eating maggots) brains a little.    

Things got worse in the 80’s when coke and crack hit the Hollywood scene and they got their first taste; things began to get downright nasty. Have you ever seen a night-crawling, blood-sucking, chicken head jonesing for a rock? I have and it’s ugly. Gary Busey’s mugshot ugly.    

As you know they don’t always kill, they sometimes recruit. Think about all the pasty-faced celebrities in and out of jail and rehab. Think it’s a coincidence? Eminem used to be black for Christsakes – you didn’t really think a white dude could rap did you? They have dozens, maybe hundreds of fledgling fiends in the entertainment industry. Winehouse, Ozzy, Richards, Love, Doherty, Barrymore, Limbaugh, and Andy Dick just to name a few. Michael Jackson was infected for years, obviously; he just was too weak to handle ‘the blood.’ 

SEE?

I firmly believe that Kiefer Sutherland is now the head vampire because he works for FOX. He furthers that corporation’s agenda by showing the public that terrorists are indeed bad. In fact FOX, or maybe even the entire republican hierarchy may be behind the whole thing. Think about it….they’d have everything to gain by creating a nation full of lily-white ghouls. I’ll bet that Dick Chaney is trying to smile while maniacally laughing in a man-sized coffin right now.     

Anyway, this is it for me. No more whining; it’s time to put up or shut up. Anyone who has the courage to help me, to stand up and fight, I ask you now to take up your cross (also garlic, and Narcan) and follow me. Remember, together we can make a difference.    

We’re coming you bastard!
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March 11, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , ,

42 Comments »

  1. So they weaken the celebrities and washed-up celebrities with drugs and/or booze so they can more easily attack?

    They stole that trick from college guys.

    Comment by Mrs. D | March 11, 2010 | Reply

    • No, I think they just go after the addicts because they’ve become addicts themselves. They probably are trying to recruit more than kill but they’ve gotten so high from the blood they lose control. You know how it is….

      Thanks Mrs. D!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 11, 2010 | Reply

      • I see… that makes sense. And I’m pretty sure Angelina Jolie is one of them.

        Comment by Mrs. D | March 11, 2010 | Reply

        • Oh my God, you’re right! Carrying around that blood with Billy Boy, AND she admitted to enjoying some heroin in her past. You are brilliant!

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 11, 2010 | Reply

  2. Lost Boys – and Girls. It is a tragedy. I, too, shall join in your Noble Quest… unless… unless… it’s possible that you’re “one of them” and just working this angle to score your *own* recruits. That could be a spray-on tan.

    Okay, I’ll join up AFTER you’ve posted a photo of yourself sitting in a bathtub of holy water and garlic cloves, surrounded by mirrors (in which you leave a reflection – and I can tell if a photo has been messed with – I have a finely tuned crapometer), and wearing a cross on that chain around your neck.

    Comment by Another Desert Rat | March 11, 2010 | Reply

    • Oooh, good idea 😉 can’t be too careful, you know!

      Comment by Mrs. D | March 11, 2010 | Reply

      • Don’t be so cynical D, the internet is a totally safe way to meet people!

        Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

        • Idk… I think we need the bathtub shot. Safety 1st, you know 😉

          Comment by Mrs. D | March 13, 2010 | Reply

          • You got it. I just have to get back to Vegas first!

            Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 14, 2010 | Reply

    • I thought you already saw that photo of me sitting in a hot tub of holy water and garlic with a cross around my neck and fake vampire teeth, while surrounded by mirrors? It’s in my Facebook photos under Vegas Halloween Party…..shit, they took it down! Must have been the graphic nudity.

      I’ll tell you what; I’ll prove it to you personally. Just meet me at the Beverly Hills hotel this weekend. The reservation will be under my real name Lestat De Lioncourt. Just come alone please…

      Thanks Desert Rat!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

  3. First it’s widespread earthquakes fucking shit up, and now this???!!?!?

    End of times is nigh. I almost said neigh. How retarded is that? Mr. Ed.

    Comment by Candice | March 11, 2010 | Reply

    • I agree Candice. Things just keep escalating…now Mr. Haim… I think that the earth is finally telling us all to fuck off? BTW, I love ‘the end is nigh.

      Thanks Candice!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

  4. “Gary Busey’s mugshot ugly”
    HA! you kill me…that’s pretty ugly.

    Sad. just so tragic.

    Comment by Candy | March 11, 2010 | Reply

    • It is ugly indeed. It might be bad luck to say ‘you kill me’ though. Given my track record and all….lol.

      Thanks Candy!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

  5. This is totally plausible. But, I think George H. W. Bush is actually the one behind all this. He was head of the CIA back when they let both crack AND AIDS loose on the unsuspecting public, ya know.

    I know that’s true cause I read it on the internet. 😉

    Comment by Jay | March 11, 2010 | Reply

    • You may be onto something Jay; he does have that whole patriarch thing going on. I don’t think he brought AIDS or invented crack…baking soda and blow, bring to a boil…I think some old junkie from my old neighborhood came up with that one. But I definitely think it’s more than possible that he brought in large amounts of blow. The ‘fuck you’ rich and powerful do love to say fuck you….

      Thanks Jay!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

  6. I know that my life will NEVER be the same without Billy Fucking Mays.

    And everytime I see those to MJ pics together, I remember the famous civil rights quote – “I was born a poor black child but just look at me today!”

    Comment by David | March 11, 2010 | Reply

    • None of us will ever be the same David. None of us.

      Believe it or not that’s the first time I heard that line about MJ. Hilarious!

      Thanks David!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

  7. I will stand with you
    In the name of John Belushi and all that is good and wired I will stand with you

    Plus I look fabulous in a giant set of rosary beads

    Comment by dianne | March 12, 2010 | Reply

    • I knew I could count on you Dianne. You’ll look hot as hell with those beads strung….askew! I can rock the hell out of a trench coat and crossbow so we’ll at least be looking good when we become vampires!

      Thanks Dianne!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

  8. You know what killed him? That godawful straight-to-DVD sequel they pimped out a few years back, featuring the illegitimate kids of the original actors.

    Has anyone kicked in the Suicide Watch on Feldman yet? They were like two peas in a pod throughout their careers, right up until Haim checked out.

    Great eulogy (or whatever the hell it was), Scott. You have a bright future ahead, what with so many celebrities death right around the corner.

    Comment by Capitalist Lion Tamer | March 12, 2010 | Reply

    • You mean that was their kids? I had no idea. I’ll be downloading that this weekend, just to study the genetics if nothing else. I’ve always wondered what Gertz and Patric’s kid love child would look like. I’ll bet that little fucker has a nose for the candy too huh?

      Do you really think I have a shot at a career in this? Would celebrities pay me to ‘lighten the mood’ at the funerals?

      Thanks CLT!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

  9. If I were a celeb, damn right I’d be a druggy . . . or maybe a sex addict . . . or a really bad golfer . . . wait, I’m that already. Oh well, one outta three ain’t bad.

    You know, Ronnie Raygun started the whole damn thing, don’t you? There’s a correlation between bad actors and drugs/politics. Just look at all the sheats been trickling down lately.

    Personally, I still think Lost Boys was the best vamp movie ever, with LBduece, the worst.

    Comment by jammer5 | March 12, 2010 | Reply

    • Ha! I’m all three and I’m only semi famous. And that’s in all the wrong circles.

      I just read about how they used to have to give Reagan cue cards so he could make conversation at parties for fuck’s sake! So he may have been undead even before the Alzheimer’s thing.

      It may be sentimentality but I agree that Lost Boys was the best ever. Loved Blade too, the first one. The best book tho was Interview. Nobody does vampires like Rice.

      Thanks Jammer!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

  10. ‘scuse me while I try to stem another nose bleed . . .

    Damn Scott, I really think you hit on something with the Kiefer FOX connection. If you ever watch “Kelly’s Heros”, check out Kiefer’s dad Donald with the runny nose! I would just be careful with your tags and put the garlic out. Those bastards can travel and speak the international language of snorting and blood sucking like nobody’s business. Great post!

    Comment by Dan McGinley | March 12, 2010 | Reply

    • You just gave me a mental image of you putting a stem (crack pipe) up your nose and….never mind. My mind wonders..

      If it’s true about the garlic then I think I’m pretty safe here. This whole town has garlic hanging from every window. I always assumed it was to dry it, but now I wonder? And there does seem to be a Catholic church (with holy water receptacles) every 7 feet or so….

      Thanks Dan!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 12, 2010 | Reply

  11. Is it just coincidence that I watched three episodes of True Blood tonight, then came upstairs to find you’d written this post…. cue spooky music…..

    Comment by nursemyra | March 12, 2010 | Reply

    • I think Desmond said it on Lost, “do not mistake coincidence for fate.” Huh…huh? I’m hearing the spooky music alright. Now I just woke up to the news that a ‘vampire’ was arrested in Seattle trying to blow some shit up……see?

      Thanks Nursemyra!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 13, 2010 | Reply

  12. I always thought of Hollywood as a bunch of high dollar carnies. You should start a dead pool Scott, my money is on Larry King, wait, okay, I totally forget he died several years ago. Funny shit Zodi.

    Comment by Fundamental Jelly | March 12, 2010 | Reply

    • That is one of the most apt descriptions of Hollywood that I’ve ever heard. A dead pool is an amazing idea! I think King may also be the head vampire…he has a lot of evidence stacked against him. 200+ years old, ice cold marbleized skin, aversion to daylight….He’s next on our hit list.

      Thanks FJ!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 13, 2010 | Reply

  13. Haha!! Even though this Corey’s death devastated me (he owned my heart during the period after Ricky Schroeder and right before Bill Gates-it was a money thing), I can’t help but laugh. Not only at your Gary Busey/MJ references (although those alone could have their own post), but at the the idea of all of us (you know I’m always with you) having to gang up on Kiefer.

    I think if you just wave a piece of garlic bread and a Coors Light in his face, he’s as good as down.

    Comment by bschooled | March 13, 2010 | Reply

    • As a result of that movie Jamie Gertz had me, which was right after Molly Ringwald and right before Shannon Doherty.

      That was a great pic B, I’m just glad you weren’t around when I was younger and drunk. Or…..were…..you?

      Thanks B!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 13, 2010 | Reply

  14. I had such a crush on him as a kid. It’s nice to see that I’m starting to outlive celebrities that are my own age.

    Comment by Tracy | March 13, 2010 | Reply

    • It’s always nice to outlive, outlast, outplay…. The real life game of Survivor!

      Thanks Tracy!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 13, 2010 | Reply

  15. Ahh — good post. Only the good die young? /will you be taking on the ‘ills’ of sex addiction as well? Poor David Duchavony and Tiger (now named Cheetah)…

    Comment by Amy Gray Light | March 13, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks for the great idea for a future post Amy! I’ll tell you one thing; if I had a sex addiction I’d much rather be Cheetah/Tiger than Duchavony/Mulder. Like I said, great idea…

      Thanks Amy!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 14, 2010 | Reply

  16. OK, I haven’t got garlic or a stake, so will last nights spaghetti marinara do? I didn’t put in the fridge so the pasta is pretty sharp and I reckon those mussels could give a nasty tummy ache!

    Comment by frigginloon | March 14, 2010 | Reply

    • I think it’ll do great. I’m sure there is some garlic in the sauce….I hope there is anyway. And bad mussels just might kill em! Oooh, we could leave out some uncut heroin too, like milk for Santa; that might do the trick.

      Thanks Frigginloon!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 14, 2010 | Reply

  17. That’s so weird… I’ve watched ‘Lost Boys’ on a loop, non-stop, since the story broke on one TV while watching ‘Dream A Little Dream’ on my other TV which Haim would have starred in if he hadn’t broke his ankle.

    Comment by Ramblin' Rooster | March 15, 2010 | Reply

    • I’ve been meaning to download Lost Boys since I heard about Corey, to see if I could pick up any ‘new’ clues about the case. Please, do let me know what you find?

      Thanks Rooster!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 15, 2010 | Reply


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