Zodi’s Blog

A Rosie Vagina, a Corpsey Cat and a Grateful Puppy.

Well we saved another puppy.  

This time we saved a puppy from the dead cat that was holding it hostage. Well, I guess technically that’s not an accurate statement since to hold something hostage you need to want something in return. And the dead cat didn’t really seem to want anything. Hostage holding also seems like it is a kind of assertive position while being dead implicitly implies passivity. I guess it would be more accurate to say that the dead cat was playing more of a victim role and was being passive aggressive with the puppy, effectively trapping it in an unhealthy relationship.  

A passive aggressive dead cat.

Anyway…  

I had just come back down the mountain from my morning jog when I saw the town stoner Tom standing at the big water fountain by the soccer field. Tom is a Welsh guy somewhere between 45 and 120 years old. He is around 6’2 when fully erect which is never. His ‘walking around posture’ sets him at around 4’8. Although I don’t have anything in common with him, he is great for a laugh and I love him like a Yoda.  

Immediately upon seeing me he stopped what he was doing (I’m not sure what that was but it did involve him staring intently at his feet) and tried to get my attention by waving his right arm in what looked to me to be a Hokey Pokey flashbacky gesture. As I sidled next to him to get a gulp of water I could tell that he was either excited or agitated by the way his pupils kept trying to focus.  

An aggressive dead cat.

“Hear that did you?” he asked.  

“No” I replied.  

“Keening, worling, yealking nippler night last I heard!” He went on, “Spooky it was.” As I was considering how I was going to ‘talk him down’ I heard it too, and god damn if it didn’t sound like a fucking worling, yealking nippler. We walked over to a long abandoned Peugeot with 4 flat tires and I could already smell what I assumed to be Rosie O’Donnell’s vagina.   

You can imagine my relief to find that it was only a very dead cat.  

I love cats but I’ll take a dead cat over an irritated and hungry vagina any day. In my exuberance over finding the source of the odor I almost forgot to consider what had made the worling, yealking nippler. As I realized that the dead cat couldn’t talk I begun to fear the angry Irishwoman’s anatomy once again. So I carefully got down on my hands and knees to better look under the car, and I saw a beautiful, healthy (physically anyway, emotionally.. not so much) puppy.  

I tried to coax her out, but she just wanted to lie and cuddle with her friend, Corpsey Cat. As I tried to reach under the car to grab her she climbed up into the engine compartment. Then I knew I needed help.  

I shouldn’t really have written that. I’m sure that her vagina smells like rainbows and pixie dust.

I left Tom who was once again staring contentedly at his feet and ran home to get my wife who I calmly asked, “Oh my God you have to help me there is a cute little puppy and a dead fucking cat under a broken car and Tom heard it worling, yealking and nipplering all night last night and nobody did anything so we have to get it out of there or it’s going to fucking die because now it’s in the hood and it’s probably really hot and oily and it may be drinking antifreeze or something right now so oh my God you have to help me right now, OK?!” 

We spent the next day and a half trying to bribe, threaten, scare, beg and plead to get that puppy away from the dead cat and out from under the Peugeot to no avail. Every time we neared she just climbed back up into the empty hood. (We found out that the engine was long missing.) We knew that we needed more help.  

Finally we called a mechanic who lives in our village to see if he would come and do some mechanic-y stuff to open the hood so we could extract the puppy. He did meet us at the scene but since it was someone else’s vehicle, abandoned or not, he was unwilling to break into it. But he did agree to help.  

He did what I believe mechanics do the world over once they are alone in their garages of greasy iniquity and he banged on the hood with his fists, while my wife laid on the ground (right next to Feline MacRotten) and snatched the scurrying, frightened puppy when she jumped down.  

We bundled the puppy up and brought her home and I scrubbed her with a vigilance that would make an OCD sufferer proud. And would probably make them want to wash their hands and flip a lightswitch 17 times as well. The first few hours Puppy seemed to miss Corpsey Cat but after she began to play with our dog and cat she seemed to adjust just fine. Now we simply have to find her a good home before we become too attached. Ahem.  

  

I do have to learn that mechanic-y bangy trick though. It would be a lucrative source for extra income supplementing my nothing else.  

Just to keep you informed; the cat is still dead. I think he’s waiting for Rosie’s vagina to come hang out.

Super Important Update; I’m going to switch this blog over into the evil dot.com world (of which I know nothing) very shortly, and I need a name. As you can see by the name of this blog, I suck ass at making the big decisions. So if you guys can give me any suggestions at all, preferably based on my writing or style, I’d make it up to you in way that you couldn’t even fantasize (mostly because I haven’t thought of it yet) about. But I’ll make it up to you in a fantasy worthy kind of way. Probably.

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August 2, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , ,

99 Comments »

  1. Scott,

    “Corpsey cat” and “MacRotten”? lol….I just love those descriptions. And I’m sure glad that at the end of the story, you confirmed that “corpsey cat” was really dead, by stating, “The cat is still dead”. I was really wondering if it might, per chance miraculously come back to life. Especially since Spain has mysterious life-longevity elements (which needs to be investigated by the way).

    Since your life seems so “abnormal” and bizarre (by my standards), I’m thinking you need to do a blog about, “A day in the life of Zodi”, just so we can get the feel for your typical day (as they do seem to be very interesting).

    Just a thought,

    Trish

    Comment by trishothinks | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • I’m glad you can appreciate my famous ability to appoint nicknames. I’m like Sawyer from Lost only I was doing it first. I thought I’d revisit the cat just to give you guys a chance to pay your last respects and all. I know how attached one can get.

      I love your idea Trish but the truth is my average days or pretty boring. But when stuff happens it REALLY happens. I just saved a stray dog from a poisoning last night by dumbing soapy water and olive oil down its throat for 3 hours. She survived, her sister didn’t.

      Thanks Trish!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 2, 2010 | Reply

  2. That puppy is adorable!

    “I left Tom who was once again staring contentedly at his feet and ran home to get my wife who I calmly asked, “Oh my God you have to help me there is a cute little puppy and a dead fucking cat under a broken car and Tom heard it worling, yealking and nipplering all night last night and nobody did anything so we have to get it out of there or it’s going to fucking die because now it’s in the hood and it’s probably really hot and oily and it may be drinking antifreeze or something right now so oh my God you have to help me right now, OK?!”

    I wish I could be calm like that. Impressive.

    Zodi’s World: A Topsey-Turvey View of Just About Everything

    Comment by Pamela Villars | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Do you want to know my trick? Valium. Lots and lots of Valium. Believe it or not I have been out of it for a few months now. And still, I manage to stay so calm.

      I love your name and it is up for consideration!

      Thanks Pamela!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 2, 2010 | Reply

  3. Aw! Puppy! Find a home for the puppy? Yeah, right. Looks like she already has one. Ya big softie.
    And did you have to post that pic of Rosie? That thing skeeves me out something terrible. I’d much rather look at the dead cat.

    Moving your blog to the big time, eh? A blog name is a very personal thing, but my suggestion would be “I Know Nothing About Farming.” No?

    Congrats on your new family member!

    Comment by Amy | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • I am a huge softie when it comes to animals. I like them more than people most of the time. But we just can’t keep that one. We already picked up a cat in Spain which we are keeping. We’re moving back to Florida within a year and it is over a grand an animal. So you can see why we need to find her a home.

      I’ll Fed-Ex her to your house!

      Thanks Amy!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 2, 2010 | Reply

      • scott. you’re moving back to florida wihtin a year? i didn’t know. crap, that’s when i’m hoping to move to spain! (not really but i hope to be leaving florida for another country wihtin a year)

        Comment by Lynn | August 2, 2010 | Reply

        • afterwards,i hope to finally learn to spell “within” *laughing*

          Comment by Lynn | August 2, 2010 | Reply

        • I am trying like hell to make it happen yea.

          Well if it’s Costa Rica then I am coming!

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

      • Aww come on, Scot! That face is worth a grand, and think how awful it was for him to lose his Kitty friend. Now that was the really upsetting thing, he must have loved her. Your wife must be a wonderful person to have gone under a car at eye level with Dead Cat to get that puppy w/o hesitation.

        I hope you can keep him or find him a loving home. I felt guilty for laughing at Dead Cat, but you’re just so hilarious.

        How did you get the name, Zodi, if it isn’t too personal?
        zodithewingnut.com or lifewithzodi.com or zodipimp.com or imzodinotrosie.com or zoditheobserver.com. or zodilovegod.com or Scotoglesby.com or zodisblog.com

        PS, thank you for writing this post.I really wanted to know the whole story.

        Comment by Lisa | August 4, 2010 | Reply

        • She is a wonderful person, I’ll give her that. The worst thing about it was how bad that cat actually smelled. And the flies. I just threw up in my mouth again.

          Zodi is a weird story. I had an Italian uncle who barely spoke any English nickname me Zodi and if he ever told anybody why they soon forgot. It did stick and over the years I was known around the neighborhood as Zodi, Z, Zodikiller, and much later Zodilander.

          Great job with the names too!

          Thanks Lisa!!

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

          • I bet zodi was his way of saying scotty if anyone ever called you that. There prolly ain’t too many Scotts in Italy.

            Comment by Lisa | August 4, 2010 | Reply

            • True dat. They sure as shit can’t pronounce it here either. Very good point Lisa. I think that you may have solved a mystery of my past!

              Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  4. “irritated and hungry vagina” Doesn’t that seem like an oxymoron to you?? In my experience when they are irritated they are never hungry.

    Comment by bearman | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Maybe it’s just my strange life, but most of the irritated vaginas that I’ve ran into were irritated because they were hungry.

      Thanks Bearman!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 2, 2010 | Reply

  5. I feel bad for that dead little kitty. Well, not really because I’m not a cat person. But, I thought I would say that cause, saying things like that always impresses the babes.

    I’ve thought about doing the .com thing myself, but keep being stopped because I can’t come up with a decent name for a blog either.

    Comment by Jay | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • I feel really bad for Corpsey Cat too. But I’m not just saying that because the chicks dig it I’m saying that because I dig kittehs more than I dig most chicks. Or dudes.

      If I could have killed an AM talk show host to bring the kitteh back to life I would have.

      We need to put our heads together and help each other. I’m way better when it’s not my own stuff I’m trying to name.

      Thanks Jay!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • well i know i’m impressed!

      Comment by Lynn | August 2, 2010 | Reply

  6. That is a hell of a touching story, like a scene from some post-apocalyptic nightmare with a “touchy-feely” moment, except for the mention of Rosie’s snatch. Thank Christ I have an empty stomach right now. Major thank-you for saving that adorable pup, and I mean friggin’ ADORABLE. As for a domain name, hmmmmmmm. “OCD Me” or . . . no. You’ll get a large OCD audience. Unless you already have one? Besides me? Hmmmmm. I gotta think on it . . .

    Comment by Dan McGinley | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Now we just have to save a dog that had been poisoned last night. See my comment to Trish above.

      I love all of your cool ass names but at this rate I’m about to go all Dexter and kill all the people trying to kill all the animals in which case I’d need more of a serial killer appropriate name!

      Thanks Dan!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • YAYYY Scot’s OCD fanclub!!!! I think he must really have it a bit. He’s way more sensitive and conscientious than most people and he likes cats so he gets an a in my book. Ocdzodi.org

      Comment by Lisa | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  7. You soft yankie push over; comment and newvenue title?

    Comment by gallowaygrave | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Yea, yea and yea.

      Thanks Gallowgrave!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

  8. Corpsey Cat?! Haha yeah I can see the resemblance… and no- I’ve never actually seen the vagina of Rosie but I have a pretty active imagination. And thanks by the way Scott, for the lovely mental image. How many shots of tequila will I have to drink to get rid of this?
    That’s it, you can name your blog ‘tequila’ 🙂

    Comment by Lua | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • An overly active imagination does seem to be the curse of the writer Lua. I remember how freaked out I used to become as a child when imagining my aunts’ vaginas…totally kidding, really. I was damnit!

      Tequila would have been perfect but I don’t drink. How about opiate drip? Doesn’t have the same ring to it does it?

      Thanks Lua!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

      • Opiate drip . . . reminds me of when I was coming around after my last c operation. The nurse kept asking me if I hurt, and if I said yes, she said, shoot some more morphine. Let me tell you, I hurt a lot 🙂

        Comment by jammer5 | August 3, 2010 | Reply

        • I remember when I had surgery they gave me the little button-o-heaven to push. And God Damn did I push!

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  9. maybe the pup stayed with the cat because they werer life long friends. this post is both sad and happy.

    re title: how bout “Scott, Unhinged as Usual” or “The Bohemian Scribe”? lemme have a couple margaritas and i’ll come up with some good ones…

    Comment by Lynn | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • It was a sad and happy day. I spent hours trying to figure out the murder mystery in a locked Peugeot scenario.

      I love The Bohemian Scribe. Gimme some more!

      Thanks Lynn!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

      • Hi,
        I know I’ve already commented twice and am sorry for being a pest, but thebohemianscribe would really fit you, my good man.

        Comment by Lisa | August 4, 2010 | Reply

        • I know, I do love it! And you can’t really comment too much…

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

        • yeah it really has a ring to it too! c’on scott do it, do it do it…

          Comment by Lynn | August 4, 2010 | Reply

          • I am strongly considering it Lynn. I’ll see if it’s available as well.

            Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 5, 2010 | Reply

  10. One of the things I enjoy about your blog is trying to guess what possibly the content might be based on the title. This one turned out, amazingly, to be about what the title said it was!

    As far as a new name, can you have parentheses? If yes, how about Alternative (to the) Universe.

    Comment by Thomas Stazyk | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • You’ve made me go back and take stock Thomas. And I have to disagree. My last 16 posts were aptly named. Now I do add some crazy tags for fun though.

      I love your title as well, especially since I may be living in one.

      Thanks Thomas!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

      • Actually what I meant to say, is that your titles make me ask myself, “I wonder what this is about?” Usually I’m wrong, this time I was right.

        Comment by Thomas Stazyk | August 3, 2010 | Reply

        • Ahh, that sounds like an awesome game. I’ll have to start seeing how wow I do with other people.

          I guess I would be a difficult one for that.

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

  11. Suggestions…
    1. My life as a fish
    2. Oxy (you) Moron
    3. Everything you never wanted to know about life
    4. Dot Com This
    5. The edge of sanity
    …still thinking

    Comment by Karen lee Thompson | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Wow Karen 1, 3, and 5 are fantastic. Did you know that I was a super Pisces? Great job, I’d love to hear more!

      Thanks Karen!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

      • No I did not know you are a Pisces.
        In that case, ‘My Life as a Fish’ could be a fun sub-title at least. Then you could have different logos/avatars: your face on a cute little ‘Finding Nemo’ type fish for fun, benign comments; then on an impressive shark for some fierce angry posts; and, when you want to be really nasty, maybe you could be a Stingray with a Steve Irwin tattoo. Oops, someone must have let ‘Bad Karen’ out of the box. I’ll put her away.

        Comment by karen lee thompson | August 5, 2010 | Reply

        • No, no don’t put her away. Much like The Gimp once you put Bad Karen away everyone knows that all the fun with ball gags and games with beaty sticks are over. And I hate the thought of that.

          A stingray with an Irwin tattoo is such a bad ass idea that I might have to get a tattoo of a stingray that has an Irwin tattoo!

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 5, 2010 | Reply

  12. Scott, Interrupted

    Kingdom of Zod

    Handcart to Hell

    Comment by nursemyra | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Another plethera of fine ideas. Are you saying I’m Winona level of crazy?

      Thanks Nursemyra!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

  13. Dynamite Enema

    Comment by nursemyra | August 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Don’t threaten me with a good time!

      Thanks Nursemyra!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

  14. A dramatic tale, with only one left wagging.

    I’m a fan of your actual surname, and think Oglesby.com is brilliant. This reflects your ogling observational humour (which your readers ogle whenever possible … )

    Comment by Mitzi G Burger | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • One tail is definitely better than none, I’ll take it.

      And I do like your idea. It’s growing on me big time. I’ve never liked my last name but if I’m ever going to live up to the legend in my own mind I have to embrace the Oglesby!

      Thanks Mitzi!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

  15. I don’t mean to ignore you piece, but I am fixated on the dot com names:

    1. Shit Zodi Says
    2. Zodar of the Hill People
    3. Zodi and the Writing Incubi
    4. Scott O – Professional On-Looker
    5. Zodi Explains It All
    6. The Extravagant Claims of Zodi
    7. Zodi and the World Writing Police
    8. How Does He Know?
    9. Zodi Walks the Impassable Path
    10. Zodi: The Man Who Peed in the Gene Pool

    Comment by Fundamental Jelly | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • Wow FJ, I can’t even tell if you’re taking the piss out of me or genuinely trying to help me name this thing. And that is an amazing feat. I love a few of those anyway, a few others…. might be tough to get a dot.com for.

      Your comedic genius is still fully intact my brother from another set of parents.

      Thanks FJ!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • Go with #10!

      Comment by nursemyra | August 3, 2010 | Reply

      • It might be a touch long. I’m sure it’s available though.

        Thanks Nursemyra!!

        Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  16. It’s a very hard emotional trip saving puppies in third world countries. But SOMEONE has to do it! Good on you guys.

    A Puppy Place For Zodi

    Comment by Micky-T | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • I just can’t turn them down when they ask for help Micky. And while technically Susi is right, where we are living (in rural Southern Spain) it may as well be third world. Concerning their views on animal rights and, well, pretty much everything else as well.

      Thanks Micky!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

      • That’s it…the third world is disappearing technically but things like animal rights, litter and filth will take a lot longer to change.

        Comment by Micky-T | August 4, 2010 | Reply

        • Hey, look at my new blue Micky-T

          Comment by Micky-T | August 4, 2010 | Reply

        • Animal rights are what kill me. I don’t care what culture you were raised in you know in your heart that it’s wrong.

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  17. you know im scared of cats..but that puppy is so cute…

    and Micky-T spain is not a third world country… you duntz

    lol i laugh so much at that pic of rosie..haha i dont know where you got it but its classic haha

    Comment by Susi Spice | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • That puppy is adorable and he is worming his way into our hearts. Should I send him Fed-Ex to Oz?

      Google images has it all!

      Thanks Susi!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

  18. Amazing how on the same day we post about vaginas, although a dead cat that looks like Rosie’s vagina sounds way cooler than Bourne with a vagina. My one question to you would be, “Where the fuck did you ever see Rosies?”

    A friend of mine started a road kill calendar one time. Sounds like Corpsey cat would rate, oh, say, November?

    Zodi and the unimpalable vagina, or, why I write such weird shit. 🙂

    Comment by jammer5 | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • Well it’s a dueling vagina kind of day. And I’ll take that over dueling banjos 9 times out of 10. Also I disagree. Jason Bourne’s vagina is not only 10 times cooler than Rosie’s vagina but Bourne’s vagina can kill Rosie’s vagina 10 different ways with a fountain pen. And still escape the country afterwards. That is one talented vagina.

      Sadly I think my blog title will be 100% vagina free. Sadly.

      Thanks Jammer!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

      • I don’t know about that. Rosie’s vagina would scare the hell out of anybody, although the Bourne vagina might be able to kill it from a distance, so long as it didn’t have to look too long.

        Comment by jammer5 | August 3, 2010 | Reply

        • I’m sure Bourne’s vagina would snipe (at) it.

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  19. Let me know your new address when you move. Poor Mcrotten. Let see focus on saving the puppy! YIPEE! Pretty darn cute hard not to keep her,but one more is just that one more.Lets see a name how about The Rock? no how aboutThe tree in mystery. Gosh this is difficult. My brain hurts I need more coffee. If I have a flash of insight for a name I’ll be back. >.com thats exciting.

    Comment by starlaschat | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • Ok, I’ll let you know as soon as I have one! I love when people send me large amounts of money and pharmaceuticals! Would you like my current address? There’s no need to wait!

      I can name the shit out of everything but the important name. And I suck at animal names to as evidenced by Kitty Kat.

      Thanks Starlaschat!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • I named a friends dog once Mia, she was thrilled. Or was it meia oh well. Why is your blog named Zodi? Short and sweet maybe. How about Zod’s blog? Or how about something in the A the other end of the spectrum? If I had money I would surly spend it. drats.

      Comment by starlaschat | August 5, 2010 | Reply

      • I’m still thinking…..maybe a bag of money could help the thought prossess.

        Comment by starlaschat | August 5, 2010 | Reply

        • Maybe. How about a bag of meth? I’m breaking bad all of a sudden.

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 6, 2010 | Reply

          • So why not stay with the same name for your .com? Just wondering. The ability to have ads is that why your going .com? Are there other perks to being .com?

            Comment by starlaschat | August 9, 2010 | Reply

            • That is a pretty good idea and I am considering it. I do tend to write some controversial stuff but the real damage has already been done.

              Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 10, 2010 | Reply

      • An uncle called me that when I was a baby and nobody knew why. It seemed a perfect way to stay anonymous. Better than, say, Scott Oglesby.

        Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 6, 2010 | Reply

  20. Now every time I see a dead cat I am going to equate it to Rosie’s twat 😦 Thanks!!!

    OK dot com names.

    Sound of one hand clapping
    Spanish inquisition
    The Paddle Pool of Life

    Comment by frigginloon | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • That’s only slightly better than having to think of a dead cat every time I see Rosie’s vagina so I guess it’s a push.

      Spanish Inquisition is a damn cool name. I’m not sure it works for my blog but it would work for something. And I’m going to figure out what!

      Thanks Loon!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2010 | Reply

  21. Poor Corpsey Cat! Adorable new puppy you have there 😉 Warn us when you use that photo of Rosie, it scares me!

    Zodie: AADD Unleashed

    Yeah, I suck at naming…if anything pops into my brain (anything at all) I’ll let you know.

    Comment by Reb | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • He is way too lovable. Mabye Fed-Ex to Canada…?

      I actually love that nate. A lot!

      Thanks Reb!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  22. Ah, the long awaited dead cat rescue puppy story, who knew it would come with a bonus smelly vagina?!
    Town stoner Tom sure sounds like a character you could do well to exploit more from, so long as he does more than stare at his feet and do Hokey Pokey flashbacky gestures….

    Anyway – how bout: Zodiology (like astrology, but better)

    Comment by RubyTwoShoes | August 3, 2010 | Reply

    • If by long you mean ‘about a week’ this was long awaited. You can see how quickly I’m running out of material over here. I may need to become more involved in Tom’s life soon.

      I really love that name as well!

      Thanks Ruby!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

      • Oh I must have confused this with some other promise of ‘pet rescue’ story from a little while ago…I cant remember from which post now…

        Comment by RubyTwoShoes | August 4, 2010 | Reply

        • It’s pretty damn easy to confuse my posts. And my days. Sometimes my wives. I kid I kid.

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  23. fuckingbrilliantbastard.com?
    jay wouldn’t mind

    hotAmericanDudeInSpain.com?
    probably suggests porn – not that there’s anything wrong with that

    TheGypsyWhoreMadeMeDoIt.com?

    De-Lightful-De-Licious-De-Mented.com
    yes, I have a crush on you 🙂

    this is off the top of my tormented infected head
    I’ll keep ya posted

    kudos on your work on behalf of the pups and pussies of Spain
    good on you babe

    Comment by dianne | August 4, 2010 | Reply

    • You came up with some doozies(?) for me there Dianne. A porn sounding name would certainly bring the stats coming in. I guess it would also bring some entertaining advertising opportunities.

      Great job!

      And don’t worry; your crush is reciprocated.

      Thanks Dianne!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  24. HA!!

    The fact that you can assume what Rosie O’Donnell’s vagina would smell like makes me laugh. But not a jovial laugh, more like a “please give me a lobotomy NOW because I can’t get the horrifying visual out of my mind” kind of laugh.

    (It’s hard to describe, but it’s got a lower pitch.)

    This story is unbelievable, Scott. The fact that the puppy wouldn’t leave the cat makes me feel like crying. I have this weird thing about animals who defy the odds of animal relations and end up becoming bosom buddies.

    I’m going to go cry myself to sleep now. But I want you to know you’re a hero.

    Ps. I’ll get back to you with some blog names.

    pps. Is Tom single? He sounds hot.

    Comment by bschooled | August 4, 2010 | Reply

    • Oh my God I could hear that lower pitched laugh. I’m not sure if that was because you’re my doppelganger and I ‘feel your pain’ or if it’s because I’m apeshit psychotic, but I heard a laughing that sounded like mental suicide.

      I know, right? But you’d think that her natural instinct would have told her to not befriend a dead anything. I think that yet another animal in my life is slightly retarded. I know you must have seen this, but if not….. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjyb0t5Jm44

      Surprisingly Tom has had an unfortunate love life. He was abused in an earlier marriage (true story!) and now he lives with an Englishwoman who outweighs him by a good hundred pounds and is an alcoholic. I pray for his safety.

      Thanks B!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2010 | Reply

  25. Do you now consider yourself a dead pussy magnet?

    The puppy is pretty cute.

    Hopefully you arne’t housing all of the animals you find, or I’m signing your ass up for hoarders.

    Comment by Candice | August 4, 2010 | Reply

    • I’ve always been a dead pussy magnet. I used to date Kate Moss back in her junk days.

      The puppy is the only one of the animals (other than my cat) that we’ve saved that has made it into the house. And I fucking hate clutter…

      Thanks Candice!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 6, 2010 | Reply

  26. therodrigo.com
    thecorpseycat.com
    thedailymethlab.com
    psychoticorgy.edu

    you oughta name that dog rodrigo, you know, so he doesn’t forget his spanish roots when you return to florida w/ him.

    Comment by Lisa | August 5, 2010 | Reply

    • I might be able to use thedailymethlab.com for selling my wares. In case you didn’t know; wares means meth in that last sentence.

      I cook meth. Every day.

      Thanks Lisa!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 6, 2010 | Reply

  27. sorry, pound/dollar equivalent a name. lol
    The poor dog.
    I hope it isn’t mentally scarred

    Comment by Artswebshow | August 6, 2010 | Reply

    • No he’s a happy, healthy pup now. Just need him a home… so difficult.

      Thanks Artswebshow!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 6, 2010 | Reply

  28. I have a couple of pretty creative names for you.

    Scott.com

    Dot Com.com

    You’re welcome, and Cheers!!

    Comment by Matt-Man | August 6, 2010 | Reply

    • Not too bad. You could almost do this for a living. I kind of like Dot Com.com

      Thanks Matt!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 6, 2010 | Reply

  29. What a great story, Scott!! A similar incident happened here in our condo towers a month or two ago. A kitten jumped up beneath an auto in our condo tower and would not budge. We went to extraordinary lengths to coax him out and thought surely the owner of the car would fire it up and mangle the kitten we had affectionately named Ben Stein. Long story short, a Humane Society volunteer set traps and waited it out (something like 12-16 hours!!) and retrieved the kitten when he finally ventured out for sustenance. I like your story much better though and I’m so glad mine did not involve smelling a necrotic, uh, one slice toaster. Eww.

    Comment by elizabeth3hersh | August 10, 2010 | Reply

    • That’s a great story as well, especially since it has a happy ending. That was incredibly kind of the volunteer to wait it out that long, I don’t have near that kind of patience. We probably could have got it out a lot sooner but I couldn’t just wait around, it was really hot out and asphalty.

      Ben Stein may be the best name for a kitten. Ever!

      I hope someone kept it?

      Thanks Elizabeth!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 10, 2010 | Reply

  30. […] Corpsey Cat Joseph’s In Praise of the Smallness of Rooms Briarcat’s martha’s much needed […]

    Pingback by Following DEATH « Flutter and Muse | August 14, 2010 | Reply

  31. […] Especially after getting a taste of that canine crack the first week. After hearing Puppy’s Corpsey Cat story and witnessing for herself how nervous the dog actually is, Sarah treats Puppy like the ear taster […]

    Pingback by Awkward Obedience « Zodi’s Blog | June 5, 2011 | Reply


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