Zodi’s Blog

Facebook Profiles; Christine O’Donnell

Christine O’Donnell Info

Sex: Saving it till marriage! And then it will only be missionary.

Birth Date: 8/27/1969

Interested In: Everything but witchcraft.

Looking For: Votes

Political Views: Conservative Christian

Religious Views: Evangelical Christian. Definitely not Wiccan.

Christine O’Donnell’s Wall

Oct 11th  Christine O’Donnell – Don’t forget to vote on November 2nd for me! Obviously, right? I know! This country totally rocks!!

~  Sarah Palin likes this

 

Oct 11th Christine O’Donnell – this is going to be HUGE people! Tea Party 4-eva!!!

Keith Olbermann– You’re the Worst Person in the World. You’re a witch. Teehee!

~ Christine O’Donnell – You’re so funny Keith. Where did come up with that, sitting in the back of your liberal limo? I’m not a witch by the way, I’m really not. At all.

~ Bill Maher– Yes, yes you are. I have it on video. All of your reprehensible Christian friends know that you can’t just ‘dabble’ in the occult. You’ve opened yourself up to demonic forces Christine. You and all your fundamentalist friends are all freakier than Lady Gaga’s vagina.

~ Pat Robertson– Bill’s actually right about this one Chrisy. Why don’t you give me a call later and we’ll pray to Jesus! Have you joined the 700 Club yet? Only 700 bucks and I’ll bet Jesus forgives you and vanquishes the demons.

~ Jesus Christ– Dood. Leave me out of this. I told you, I don’t hate anyone but I certainly don’t like you people. I defriended your 700 year old ass a long time ago.

~ Lady Gaga – @Bill- you crack me up, ROTFLMVO!! 

 

Oct 11th Christine O’Donnell – Wrote on God’s wall.

Oct 11th Christine O’Donnell – Wrote on Jesus Christ’s wall.

Oct 11th Jesus Christ – No, I won’t endorse you. I freaking hate politics. The whole thing is so freaking boring. And I don’t care if you are a witch or not. And please stop bothering dad, he’s getting pissed. 

~ The Buddha likes this.

 

Oct 12th Sarah Palin – Dontcha worry about that incarnite devil Bill Maher. He’s just a bully using his pulpit to breed liberals. Hill get his just desert in hell! Let us together refudiate him!

~ Christine O’Donnell Likes this.

~ Bill Maher– Hey Sarah, I’ll stop this if you make me an offer you can’t pronounce. You two should do a celebrity Jeopardy. It’ll be fun watching Trebeck’s head explode like a Halloween pumpkin stuffed with dynamite.   

~ Christine O’Donnell– @Sarah- Thanks babes. Big hugs!! @Bill- You are so not worth my time. You’re just rebellious against God because you are a tiny, little man with a ginormous head.

~ Sharron Angle – Hey Chrisy, we should get together later and discuss the ‘uttingpay ethay exhay onway ethay exicansmay’ thing. I totally feel you on the first amemdmant thing too. I mean WHAT the heck IS IT? Makes about as much sense as these Asian/Mexican/I-don’t-know-what-kind-they-are-children. We have to take our country back! Give me a ring, we’ll do lunch!  

 

 Oct 12th  Christine O’Donnell– You people who keep slandering me and showing video clips out of context are lucky I’m not a witch (I’m not) or I’d invoke the name of Anamalech during the Esbat and turn your bulbous noses into infested Azaleas with Botrytis petal blight, you lay Cowan bastards! But I’m not. So I wouldn’t know how to do such a thing.

~ Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michele Pfeiffer like this.

~ Lady Gaga– Oh my God that was fucking cool!

 

Oct 13th Brett Favre– Hey sweetcheeks, did you get my last 3 texts? Why aren’t you getting back to me?    

Oct 13th Pat Robertson– You know Chrisy even if you were a witch (and you’re not of course) Jesus would forgive you as long as you hated the gays and hated the taxes. God hates homos and taxes worse than he hates witches.

~ Christine O’Donnell– I’m not a witch. How many times do I have to tell you people?

~ Jesus Christ– @Pat- God doesn’t hate anybody you douchcoaster. How many times do I have to tell you to keep my name out your mouth? I swear to freaking God (sorry dad) that I’m about to get a restraining order.

 

Oct 14th Christine O’Donnell Likes Boycott the Occult, Boycott Harry Potter.

~ JK Rowling– Fuck you. Bitch.

~ Christine O’Donnell– OH GOD DAMNIT I’M NOT A WITC…. oh, yea, ok, nevermind.       

Advertisements

October 20, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , ,

66 Comments »

  1. I think you and Bschooled both spend too much time on facebook.

    Lady Gaga doesn’t have anything to relevant to say does she?

    Comment by Bearman | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • How much time is too much time? That wasn’t rhetorical; I just suck at setting personal boundaries.

      I think that Lady Gaga lets her vagina do the talking (and singing) these days.

      Thanks Bearman!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

      • Beat it, Bearman! Or I’ll get SkiMask after you.

        Comment by Bschooled | October 22, 2010 | Reply

        • Ooh, could you get SkiMask after him anyway? Because that would be cool to watch.

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 22, 2010 | Reply

  2. ROTFLMVO – Awesome!
    Jesus is my favorite recurring character in your Facebook posts. And great Witches of Eastwick reference, too!

    Comment by Amy | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • I love that I can always count on you to spot my hard to find references and you never disappoint! I didn’t think anybody would see the vagina.

      Thanks Amy!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

      • Yes, that’s me. I always see the vagina.

        Comment by Amy | October 21, 2010 | Reply

        • I’m falling for you Amy, more every day!

          I’m a ‘the vagina is half full’ kind of guy myself!

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

          • Half full? Eternal optimist.
            🙂

            Comment by Amy | October 21, 2010 | Reply

            • I’m trying Amy. I’m trying real hard!

              Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 22, 2010 | Reply

  3. The Douchcoasters! Another great name for a christian rock band. That was fucking amazing. How you actually get into the minds of these people is beyond belief . . .seriously, dude, beyond belief. Do you, like, meditate or something?

    What gets me is the popularity of these idiots. Don’t women realize just how far back they’re setting the womans’ movement? The total IQ of O’Donnell, Palin, Angle, Bachmann and Brewer has to be less than the freezing point of water . . . either Celsius or Fahrenheit.

    Comment by jammer5 | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Wait you mean Christians are allowed to sing and play instruments now? I am SO reconsidering them as a faith based opiate now! Just kidding I love the Christ but I hate the Christians.

      It’s mind boggling for sure Jammer. If America is dumb enough to start electing these people I should reconsider going back. Because it’s not going to be a pretty picture if this trend continues.

      Thanks Jammer!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  4. HA…Good Stuff Scott. I am working on an interview with “Chrissy” as we speak. Cheers Scott!!

    Comment by Matt-Man | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • I can’t wait to see whatcha got, should be interesting.

      Thanks Matt!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  5. I love Jesus telling her to leave dad alone!!
    and ‘make you an offer you can’t pronounce’ is brilliant!!

    Comment by dianne | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • I wish that God would stick up for Jesus once in a while too though.

      That was actually Maher himself, talking about the Palin with a penis I believe.

      Thanks Dianne!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  6. Great stuff! Even as I type this, the little rural crossroads just north of here is absolutely trashed with countless political signs shouting out in bold colors, the mail is crammed with voting ads of all sizes, and the television is bursting with opponents attacking each other with true and false accusations. The phone rings every night with recorded voices inviting you to a town meeting or survey. They all promise jobs and recovery, and they all love us to death. Death being the operative word. You are witnessing the Vast Decline from an interesting viewpoint. Please continue . . .

    Comment by Dan McGinley | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • I hate all the paraphernalia that comes with elections. I wish they would just get back to giving everybody chickens and pots or chicken breasts and really good hash or something. I could get behind a candidate with that kind of foresight. Then when they called we could punk the shit out of them by pretending we thought we picked up the phone and were ordering a pizza.

      Thanks Dan!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  7. Ha! Your stats are going through the roof, I bet. And well deserved.

    Comment by Pamela Villars | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Ha you made me look. Nah, they hover around 3 to 5 hundred and never change. Ever. But these are easy and fun and I haven’t ‘done’ political in ages.

      Thanks Pamela!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  8. You know which character you got perfectly? The Buddha. I don’t know enough about the other people to judge, but I’m willing to believe in your creations.

    Comment by Gorilla Bananas | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • That’s all I ask GB, just be willing to believe. That’s about right then since I’m more Buddha-isty than Christianity-er lately.

      Thanks Gorilla Banannas!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  9. Oct 20–Rodrigo–Maybe Lady when you are getting to be the older you will do the sex with me. Female elderly monied wife getting too old and Rodrigo little man having great need of servicing. If no female elderly then maybe Rodrigo having to self service and you don’t be wanting that.

    Comment by Thomas Stazyk | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Jesus, now I have old, made up characters sending messages to new, real life characters. I’ve officially lost control of my blog. Is there anything that you or your dad would be willing to do to help?
      -Me.

      PS- I think she’d dive on that Brazilian love bi-stick if she got the chance.

      Thanks Thomas!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

      • Plato–What makes you think you had control in the first place?

        Comment by Thomas Stazyk | October 21, 2010 | Reply

        • It was but an illusion. But now, even the illusion is shattered.

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  10. Fantastic. You do Jesus and Buddah so well.

    Comment by Karen lee Thompson | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks, I feel like I’ve finally locked onto their depth of character.

      Thanks Karen!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  11. “Please stop bothering Dad” – I love it! Also love how you’ve got Sarah Palin’s spelling mistakes down pat

    Comment by nursemyra | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Glad you noticed them NM. She should start using Word to type everything out first. I couldn’t get by without it.

      Thanks Nursemyra!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  12. Thinking Christine O’Donnell really makes me want to touch myself. The fact that she doesn’t want me to, only makes me want to even more.

    Comment by Jay | October 21, 2010 | Reply

    • I saw that somewhere. I’m sorry but if anyone come out anti masturbation… anti masturbation(???!!!!!!) you know they are shoving lamps up their ass at home. She’s a freaky freak!

      Thanks Jay!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  13. Even weirder than this post is my disclosure that I am a Bill Maher-loving atheist and social liberal who invariably votes with the Christian coalition, and even weirder is how much I despise the anti-intellectualism of these religious fanatics, yet feel more secure in their politics. Stranger still, is how I can laugh harder than Maher on his tenth toke while stone cold sober. Admit it, Scott: our whole political system/candidates seems like they are shrouded in a cloud of cannabis. If I wasn’t coughing so hard, I’d laugh.

    Comment by elizabeth3hersh | October 21, 2010 | Reply

    • See, this is why I love you Elizabeth. The personal, unadulterated honesty to be able to vote with your heart and still have the ability to laugh at the shredding of ‘your’ side… and still have the ability to laugh at anything. Most people can only see one side of any given argument.

      The anti-intellectualism is what floors me. How does she not understand the first amendment? It’s the first one!

      I used to have some Hall’s (mentholyptus!) and spray cough syrup handy for just such occasions.

      Thanks Elizabeth!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  14. 1. I love that Favre is in on sexting O’Donnell. You know she wants to ride that broomstick.

    2. Did Lady Gaga say she was rolling on the floor laughing her vagina off or was it her veal?

    Comment by Vodka and Ground Beef | October 21, 2010 | Reply

    • 1- I have to disagree. I’ve seen Favre’s penis and [I think] I’ve seen a broomstick (that’s what’s attached to the sucky, scary air mashine right?) and I’d say that Brett’s penis is more akin to an original Atari joystick.

      2- I believe that her vagina IS veal. Or made of veal. Or something. What was that meat suit thing about again?

      Thanks V & GB!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  15. It’s the Devil’s own handiwork when Lady Gaga pokes Christine O’donnell …I’m just saying 😦

    Comment by frigginloon | October 21, 2010 | Reply

    • Well that’s a visual I didn’t nee… nevermind, I actually kind of like it now!

      Thanks Loon!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  16. ‘Douchcoaster’ is my official new favourite insult. I have not tuned in to the news from the US about their election buzz, and I think your excellent rendition of arch conservative politics in this here post is a cure-all source for the current affairs I won’t be ogling. Awesomeness!

    Comment by Mitzi G Burger | October 21, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks, that’s one I actually just came up with. I like it too. Well the funny thing about this race is that the crazy fundamentalist Christian chick used to be a crazy Wiccan chick. Now she tells girls they’ll go to hell if they masturbate.

      Thanks Mitzi!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  17. God has a Facebook page? Are there pictures?

    Comment by thoughtsappear | October 21, 2010 | Reply

    • Yep. I ‘requested’ a ‘friending’ but still haven’t heard back. And his settings are all marked to private so I can’t tell if he has pics.

      He probably hasn’t logged on in awhile. He wouldn’t ignore a friend request from me, surely.

      Thanks Thoughtsappear!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  18. Seriously, the Brett Favre reference was pure genius…
    You killl me…

    Comment by Candy | October 21, 2010 | Reply

    • You know more is going to come out. Any day now!

      Thanks Candy!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  19. Posts like these make me wish I wasn’t so politically-ignorant. I tried watching the Joy Behar show once to get up to speed, but seeing as Jenny McCarthy was the guest, I ended up being dumber than I was before. (As you can clearly tell by the way that last sentence was written.)

    Still, if I can laugh at something I know nothing about, then it just reaffirms the fact that you’re a Facebooking genius.

    Comment by Bschooled | October 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Believe me, so am I. I never would have heard of this story if I didn’t keep up with the Wiccan Weekly World News. I’m a 5th degree, active warlock (which is great because it means I get to wear the golden/greenish smock) and I’ve made it my custom to keep up with the US covens.

      I love Jenny McCarthy. I just don’t like to see her poop. Whoever thought that was a good idea? Probably the same people who wanted to ‘show us’ Tom Green’s testicle removal.

      Thanks B!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 22, 2010 | Reply

  20. ~ Jesus Christ- @Pat- God doesn’t hate anybody you douchcoaster. How many times do I have to tell you to keep my name out your mouth? I swear to freaking God (sorry dad) that I’m about to get a restraining order.

    Dude, did I ever tell you you write the funniest stuff ever?!
    I hope you keep doing the profiles coming. Do me a Rodrigo someday please? Maybe Pat Robertson?

    There is no separation between church and state in the Constitution!!!!

    Comment by Lisa | October 22, 2010 | Reply

    • You have and I appreciate it more every time! My dad used to say that I couldn’t take a beating for shit but I could take a compliment exceedingly well.

      That’s a pretty good idea but I’m not sure if he’s ready to leave the cushy, pampered life he has with you. I might have to try to bribe him with the monied wine and spray tanner that he’s fond of.

      That bitch better not win. For realz.

      Thanks Lisa!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 23, 2010 | Reply

  21. PS, would you like me to start tweeting your shit since you sweem twitterically challenged?

    Comment by Lisa | October 22, 2010 | Reply

    • Sure, it would be an honor! I could just never get into twitter like I can Facebook.

      Thanks again!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 23, 2010 | Reply

      • lisaexclaimed Lisa B
        Facebook Profiles; Christine O’Donnell « Zodi’s Blog http://goo.gl/MoZY #parody #satire #comedy #facebook #funny #shiznit #ChristineOdonnell

        Comment by Lisa | October 23, 2010 | Reply

  22. Should I be embarrassed that I don’t even know who Christine O’Donnell is? Regardless, still a great entry. Very creative!

    Comment by gazingatnavels | October 23, 2010 | Reply

    • No, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed at all. You should feel blessed because you are a lucky lady! Sometimes (usually) ignorance is bliss.

      Thanks Gazingatnavels!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 24, 2010 | Reply

  23. Comment by Lisa | October 23, 2010 | Reply

    • She is beyond all hope. America is beyond all hope if she gets elected into any public office, anywhere, at anytime.

      Thanks Lisa!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 24, 2010 | Reply

  24. Comment by Lisa | October 23, 2010 | Reply

    • You can’t start off with a better opening line than that.

      Thanks Lisa!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 24, 2010 | Reply

  25. It may be just missionary, but there will be some freaky stuff going on. All the chicks I’ve dated that are into witchcraft are way into “kink.”

    Comment by dr. ken | October 23, 2010 | Reply

    • I don’t find anything wrong with either. I do however, think that this lady, as well as 40-ish(?) percent of this political movement are batshit crazy.

      Thanks Dr. Ken!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 24, 2010 | Reply

  26. I laughed, cuz you’re funny, but I have no idea about American politics unless it is explained to me via an episode of the West Wing, and even then I have to watch it dubbed in “australian” so I can make sense of all that fast talking…

    Comment by RubyTwoShoes | October 24, 2010 | Reply

    • You’re lucky in that regard, for sure. American politics, like American footba…everything else, is way over done and over the top. Although no small measure of blame for this falls on Rupert Murdock.

      Thanks Ruby!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | October 25, 2010 | Reply

  27. Scott,

    Too funny! And you know I’m a staunch conservative….and you made me laugh at all my “heros”. I love that you implemented Lady Gaga in this too.

    Comment by trishothinks | November 2, 2010 | Reply

    • Sorry about the extremely late reply Trish, I somehow missed you here.

      Coming from you that is a huge compliment. Glad I could make you laugh. Hope you’re doing well as well.

      Thanks Trish!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | November 7, 2010 | Reply

  28. ???? ?????? ????? – ??? ???? ?? ???? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?? ??? ??? ??? ??, ?? ???? ??? ????? ?? ??? thanx.

    Comment by Arntr | November 6, 2010 | Reply

    • …. !!!!!!! …. … …! !!!..! !!!! … ! .. !..! !!!! !!! ….. !!!

      …..??

      Thanks Arntr!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | November 7, 2010 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: