Zodi’s Blog

Overheard in New Hampshire

Dunning-Kruger-What?  

Guy Who Looks Like That Guy in the Irish Spring Soap Commercial: If you looked up the Dunning-Kruger effect in the encyclopedia there would be a photo of Sarah Palin.

Amazingly Hot White Girl Wearing a Funny Hat, Like the Kind the Stoners Wear: I know, right? Then there would totally be a picture of some overweight mid-western truck driver and his wife, and they’d be standing in front of their gun rack and you’d see Glenn Beck on their TV in the background.

Guy Who Looks Like That Guy in the Irish Spring Soap Commercial: Yea. Fuck yea.

Amazingly Hot White Girl Wearing a Funny Hat, Like the Kind the Stoners Wear: This hat is itching the shit outta my head, ugh.

— On the campus of White Mountain Community College.

 

 

Debbie Does Dover 

Old Man in Fur Hat: I heard the Pattison girl is buying the old Hemler property.

Old Man in Flannel Coat: What?

Another Old Man in another Flannel Coat: Debbie? She’s 58 years old. Hardly a girl now is she?

Old Man in Fur Hat: She’s younger than me.

Old Man in Flannel Coat: I have to take a leak.

 — Bus stop in Dover

  

  

Not the same Debbie

  

   

Tripy 

Man in Bar #1: I heard that Jimmy Mullen dropped acid the other day.

Man In Bar #2: Yea, he got really messed up by that stuff man.

Woman in Bar:  What happened.

Man #2: He was etching a new window for the Presbaterian church and knocked it off the table. That hydrofluoric acid burned his foot and calf up something fierce. Pity

Man #1: Shame

Man #2: They should take up a collection. You know, at the church.

—A local bar in Portsmouth.

 

 

Live Free or Die 

Eckhart Tolle, Speaking on Campus at Dartmouth: You know, this state motto has always bothered me; it’s a false dichotomy. How exactly does one quantify the word freedom? And in what sense would one, supposedly, rather die than ‘not’ live free? For none of us are ever truly free until we are finally able to throw off the bowlines of physicality and set sail onto the brilliantly empty sea of death that can only be achieved through giving up one’s past identity as well as their stake in the future. This process will be expedited by purchasing my books and CD’s. 

Student #1: No dude, I think it’s just a motto, like Virginia being for gay lovers or whatever. .  

Student #2: Virginia is for lovers moron.

Student #1: Well, it’s also for gay lovers. I have a gay uncle that loves it down there.

Student #2: oh, word.

Eckhart Tolle: Stay in the moment people.

 —Dartmouth

  

  

Not Eckhart Tolle

 

 

Politically Incorrect 

Earl: Did you hear that a colored family moved in last week?

Earl’s friend: You’re supposed to just say black these days Earl.

Earl: But they aren’t black.

Earl’s friend: Well, what are they?

Earl: I don’t know… Middle Eastern I think.

Earl’s Friend: Jesus killers or suicide bombers?

Earl: Arabs, I think.
Earl’s friend: Oh, I don’t know what you’re supposed to call them. Maybe colored is still right.

 

—Denny’s on Route 6

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March 27, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

37 Comments »

  1. Some unusual conversations there.
    Old people always have the funniest conversations

    Comment by Artswebshow | March 27, 2011 | Reply

    • True. That’s one of the reasons that I hang out at the senior center.

      Thanks Artswebshow!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 27, 2011 | Reply

  2. Oh! Back to normal for me, not understanding more than 5% of one of his posts…

    Comment by Dave Hambidge | March 27, 2011 | Reply

    • By ‘his’ you mean mine?

      Google Overheard in New York and you’ll be caught up.

      Thanks Dave!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 27, 2011 | Reply

  3. Would it be un-PC to note that it’s “Tolle” and not “Toole?” (Although you got it right in the pic of the fat guy.) Of course, spell-checker doesn’t like either of them, so it’s an understandable oversight. [OC-DEna rides again.]

    Great post and what a treat on a Sunday morning when I really don’t want to do ANYTHING and my email in-box is looking rather anemic. [How much shit can one person buy from Sierra Trading Post – honestly – no I really want to know – how much – have I gone overboard?]

    Comment by Desert Rat | March 27, 2011 | Reply

    • It’s totally PC to tell me I messed up. I actually like Tolle. I’ve read both Power of Now and New Earth and, although I take some of it with a teaspoon of salt, he does hit on some consciousness raising points.

      Thanks for the compliments. Just seeing your avatar pop up makes my Sunday better.

      Thanks Desert Rat!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  4. Haha…. Trippy made me smile, but Politically Incorrect made me laugh out loud and fart at the same time….

    Comment by nursemyra | March 27, 2011 | Reply

    • When I can make a fine woman laugh and fart I consider it a total win!

      Thanks Nursemyra!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  5. That naked dude in the picture I have seen in short jean shorts all over greeting cards in the store. Who is he??

    Comment by Bearman | March 27, 2011 | Reply

    • I stole him from Google Images after typing Fat Buddha.

      Thanks Bearman!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  6. And people make fun of us Southerners. Loved the Live Free or Die one!

    Comment by Amy | March 27, 2011 | Reply

    • That was my favorite as well. I love rednecks, whereever they live.

      Thanks Amy!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  7. I don’t know what the Dunning-Kruger Effect is but I don’t want to catch it! Especially if Palin has it.

    Comment by Mitzi G Burger | March 27, 2011 | Reply

    • “When you are so dumb you believe yourself smart” is the short answer. And I feel ya!

      Thanks Mitzi!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  8. Hm, maybe I should start paying attention to the conversations around me. Loved the last one 😉

    Comment by Reb | March 27, 2011 | Reply

    • Or the ones inside your head!

      Thanks Reb!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  9. Apparently nobody in NH uses the Twitter. That’s the kind of open-ended dialog I’d actually read. (No offense, Twitterers. If I had an infinite amount of free time, I’d probably sign up. This is not to say that all Tweeters have too much free time. Obviously, they have just enough.)

    Of course, Toole/Tolle would have to bit.ly the hell out of that rambling speech to meet Twitter’s exacting standards. Either that, or it would have to be some sort of miniseries.

    But don’t mind the pointless ramblings of a rather youngish old man, Scott. This was a blast to read. When you can’t have fun at others’ expense, then you’ve got to ask yourself if you’re capable of having fun at all.

    Comment by Capitalist Lion Tamer | March 28, 2011 | Reply

    • Weirdly enough, I never really got into Twitter either. The format seems to be lacking the two prerequisites that I demand out of my social media; personal affirmation by having numerous girls ‘like’ things I say, and numerous pictures of said hot girls in all sorts of drunken and compromising positions. I’m old fashioned like that I guess.

      Then again I’ve been rethinking my stance based on Shit My Dad Says. I’ll bet since he’s made all that money and gained all that shiny respectability, girls just tell him that they like what he says, even without the easy to use button. And hell, he’s probably featured in some of those indecent pictures himself now.

      Ahh, the good life.

      Thanks CLT!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  10. “White Mountain Community College” sounds like a place where Sarah Palin would go to give a speech. She would like the “white” part.

    Comment by Jay | March 28, 2011 | Reply

    • I did the research and used a real school. Their motto is ‘haven’t seen a black man since we don’t know when.’

      Thanks Jay!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  11. A few year back I was on holidays and I overheard a man say to his wife “Sheez, see that eagle, it’s got eyes like a hawk.”

    Comment by frigginloon | March 28, 2011 | Reply

    • See, this is why I always carry a notepad with me!

      Thanks Loon!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  12. If that’s not a picture of Eckhart Tolle, why does gazing in to his eyes make me want to read Eckhart Tolle?

    Comment by The Good Greatsby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

    • Brilliant!

      Becaue position of Read Eckhart Tolle his head causes a Read Eckhart Tolle.

      Thanks TGG!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  13. Man how come colored = black always?? As far as I know East Asians = Yellow, or atleast pale. We Indians are a fuzzy brown ourselves. This is BLASPHEMY!!

    Anyways, are people of any race pink? Blue may be?

    Comment by notajackass | March 28, 2011 | Reply

    • I’m brownish and I’ve always preferred the word ‘tan’ or even ‘bronze.’ I love the color of the Indians, it’s something that I aspire to.

      Thanks Notajackass!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  14. Bwahahahaahahaha! Great to be back in the old US of A, huh?

    Hows things in sunny FLA?

    Comment by Candy | March 28, 2011 | Reply

    • It’s amazing Candy! We love it, check out my Facebook.

      Thanks Candy!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  15. I love Tripy
    and the last one killed me
    my 80 something year old aunt told me on saturday that she just doesn’t call anyone anything anymore
    she’s one of those folks that thinks only white people have names

    Comment by dianne | March 28, 2011 | Reply

    • It’s amazing to watch the zeitgeist move along isn’t it? My great uncle was ahead of his time and the shit that would come out of his mouth would make me cringe.

      Thanks Dianne!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 28, 2011 | Reply

  16. HA! F*ck this is funny, Scott.

    I love the old man in a flannel coat. He sounds just like my Uncle. (He has a small bladder.)

    Comment by bschooled | March 29, 2011 | Reply

    • I had a uncle like that too but he died. Luckily it wasn’t because his bladder burst though. That would suck.

      Thanks B!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | March 29, 2011 | Reply

  17. Hi Scott, very sorry I’m so late to the party this week. Perdon a me. Will read right now!

    Comment by Lisa | March 31, 2011 | Reply

    • No need for a pardon, the gloves didn’t fit.

      Thanks Lisa!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | April 2, 2011 | Reply

  18. Comedy gold! Fuck yea! That last dialogue between the old guys sounds like stuff I’ve heard throughout my life. Lots of older people still call African Americans ‘coloreds.’ Embarrisingly my 87 year-old friend will spot someone Mexican and ask husband and us “What are they?” The funny thing is she has friends she goes out to eat with who are African American and she’d never be mean to a child whatever the ethnicity, so you have to take the good with the bad.

    Comment by Lisa | March 31, 2011 | Reply

    • I think it’s just the swing of the pendulum of consciousness/moral zeitgeist. Older people always sound slightly insulting with their archaic dialogue and their smelling vaguely of Ben Gay, denture cream and impending death. My great uncle was the same way, God rest his soul.

      Thanks Lisa!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | April 2, 2011 | Reply

  19. I liked Politically Incorrect in particular. That conversation didn’t really take place in real life, did it? Just in your head, right?

    Comment by gazingatnavels | April 3, 2011 | Reply


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