Zodi’s Blog

Facebook Profiles; Christine O’Donnell

Christine O’Donnell Info

Sex: Saving it till marriage! And then it will only be missionary.

Birth Date: 8/27/1969

Interested In: Everything but witchcraft.

Looking For: Votes

Political Views: Conservative Christian

Religious Views: Evangelical Christian. Definitely not Wiccan.

Christine O’Donnell’s Wall

Oct 11th  Christine O’Donnell – Don’t forget to vote on November 2nd for me! Obviously, right? I know! This country totally rocks!!

~  Sarah Palin likes this

 

Oct 11th Christine O’Donnell – this is going to be HUGE people! Tea Party 4-eva!!!

Keith Olbermann– You’re the Worst Person in the World. You’re a witch. Teehee!

~ Christine O’Donnell – You’re so funny Keith. Where did come up with that, sitting in the back of your liberal limo? I’m not a witch by the way, I’m really not. At all.

~ Bill Maher– Yes, yes you are. I have it on video. All of your reprehensible Christian friends know that you can’t just ‘dabble’ in the occult. You’ve opened yourself up to demonic forces Christine. You and all your fundamentalist friends are all freakier than Lady Gaga’s vagina.

~ Pat Robertson– Bill’s actually right about this one Chrisy. Why don’t you give me a call later and we’ll pray to Jesus! Have you joined the 700 Club yet? Only 700 bucks and I’ll bet Jesus forgives you and vanquishes the demons.

~ Jesus Christ– Dood. Leave me out of this. I told you, I don’t hate anyone but I certainly don’t like you people. I defriended your 700 year old ass a long time ago.

~ Lady Gaga – @Bill- you crack me up, ROTFLMVO!! 

 

Oct 11th Christine O’Donnell – Wrote on God’s wall.

Oct 11th Christine O’Donnell – Wrote on Jesus Christ’s wall.

Oct 11th Jesus Christ – No, I won’t endorse you. I freaking hate politics. The whole thing is so freaking boring. And I don’t care if you are a witch or not. And please stop bothering dad, he’s getting pissed. 

~ The Buddha likes this.

 

Oct 12th Sarah Palin – Dontcha worry about that incarnite devil Bill Maher. He’s just a bully using his pulpit to breed liberals. Hill get his just desert in hell! Let us together refudiate him!

~ Christine O’Donnell Likes this.

~ Bill Maher– Hey Sarah, I’ll stop this if you make me an offer you can’t pronounce. You two should do a celebrity Jeopardy. It’ll be fun watching Trebeck’s head explode like a Halloween pumpkin stuffed with dynamite.   

~ Christine O’Donnell– @Sarah- Thanks babes. Big hugs!! @Bill- You are so not worth my time. You’re just rebellious against God because you are a tiny, little man with a ginormous head.

~ Sharron Angle – Hey Chrisy, we should get together later and discuss the ‘uttingpay ethay exhay onway ethay exicansmay’ thing. I totally feel you on the first amemdmant thing too. I mean WHAT the heck IS IT? Makes about as much sense as these Asian/Mexican/I-don’t-know-what-kind-they-are-children. We have to take our country back! Give me a ring, we’ll do lunch!  

 

 Oct 12th  Christine O’Donnell– You people who keep slandering me and showing video clips out of context are lucky I’m not a witch (I’m not) or I’d invoke the name of Anamalech during the Esbat and turn your bulbous noses into infested Azaleas with Botrytis petal blight, you lay Cowan bastards! But I’m not. So I wouldn’t know how to do such a thing.

~ Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michele Pfeiffer like this.

~ Lady Gaga– Oh my God that was fucking cool!

 

Oct 13th Brett Favre– Hey sweetcheeks, did you get my last 3 texts? Why aren’t you getting back to me?    

Oct 13th Pat Robertson– You know Chrisy even if you were a witch (and you’re not of course) Jesus would forgive you as long as you hated the gays and hated the taxes. God hates homos and taxes worse than he hates witches.

~ Christine O’Donnell– I’m not a witch. How many times do I have to tell you people?

~ Jesus Christ– @Pat- God doesn’t hate anybody you douchcoaster. How many times do I have to tell you to keep my name out your mouth? I swear to freaking God (sorry dad) that I’m about to get a restraining order.

 

Oct 14th Christine O’Donnell Likes Boycott the Occult, Boycott Harry Potter.

~ JK Rowling– Fuck you. Bitch.

~ Christine O’Donnell– OH GOD DAMNIT I’M NOT A WITC…. oh, yea, ok, nevermind.       

Advertisements

October 20, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | 66 Comments

Facebook Profiles: The Buddha

 

The Buddha’s Info

  

Sex: I have the sexual organs of a God! Too bad that God is Buddha. Haha!

Birth date: 563 Before. The. Christ. Haha! 

Current City: I don’t really like to be tied down and I tend to travel a lot. Why does your mind seek to label and pigeon hole?

Relationship Status: It’s complicated.  

Looking for: Nothing, we possess all we will ever need inside of us. And Cheesy Puffs.

Activities: Ending suffering, surfing (just learned!), chowing, being, letting my love light shine, chillaxin.

Interests: Philosophy, candles, eastern thought, chillaxin. Asking myself… Get it? Haha! 

TV Shows: Weeds, 30 Rock, Breaking Bad. 

Books: The Stieg Larsson trilogy, Time Travelers Wife, Eckhart Toole, anything by Deepak Chopra.

Quotes: I am the way, the truth and the light. –Jesus. That dude is righteous bro.  

About Me: I’m a pretty humble God, just trying to end suffering, bring consciousness to the world, chow down and chillax! I am not inherently opposed to marijuana. Why would I be?  

.

.

The Buddha’s Wall

     

July 11th The Buddha – It is better to travel well than to arrive.

~ Keanu Reeves – Dude!

~ Tiger Woods – Well said Buddha, but I miss my Escalade. And my wife.

~ The Buddha – Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Take a smoke if it will help. 

~ Keanu Reeves – Duuuuuude!

~ Tiger Woods – Thanks bro.

 

July 13th Richard Gere – Quick question. If I save the life of an animal of the field, a small rodent as such, does his life then belong to me in essence?

~ Uma Thurman – Owww. You freak.

~ Oliver Stone – How do you know it’s a rodent and not some space creature putting these thoughts into your head? Have you thought of that Richard?

~ Richard Gere – @Uma. Fuck off bitch. @Oliver. Oh my, you may be right!

~ Keanu Reeves – shit dude?

~ The Buddha – Every one needs to walk the middle road. @Uma, be nice. @Oliver, please take your medication and stop confusing the idiots. @Richard, how many times have I told you that you are going to be reincarnated as a colostomy bag if you keep this up. Do not interfere with nature. Your mind seeks fulfillment where it can not be found.

~ Uma Thurman – I disagree Buddha. Anal sex can be nice.

~ Keanu Reeves – hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe dude!

~ Richard Gere – I’m sorry master, I’ll meditate on it.

~ The Buddha – Meditate with no animal up your ass Richard. That is the middle way.

 

July 13th Jesus Christ – Hey B, you want to mash up some waves tomorrow?

~ The Buddha – Yea, I’m down. Breakfast at IHOP?

~ Jesus Christ – Absofreakinglutely!

~ Keanu Reeves – Can I come? 

~ The Buddha – Have you any herb?

~ Keanu Reeves – dude!

~ The Buddha – Ok, but don’t get all talky.

~ Jesus Christ – 6am tomorrow guys!

 

July 13th The Buddha became a fan of The Sound of One Hand Clapping, Becoming a Fan, and The Office.

.

July 14th The Buddha– Killer waves and righteous peeps!

~ Jesus Christ, J-Lo and Keanu Reeves like this.    

 

July 14th The Buddha– To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one’s own in the midst of abundance.

~ The Buddha – Can a Buddha get a like? WTF. 

 

July 15th The Buddha is now friends with Steven Segal, Mark Wahlberg and 14 others.

.

July 17th Pat Robertson– You should be ashamed of yourself. You are leading all these heathens straight into hell. Plus you’re fat.

~ The Buddha – Your soul suffers Pat. You need to seek peace.

~ Pat Robertson – You’re going to hell you fatso. I can squat 4500 pounds, thanks to God. And my protein shake.

~ The Buddha – Please do not spam my wall Pat.

 

July 17th The Buddha wrote on Mohammad’s wall.

.

July 17th The Buddha – Haha, some people are so afraid of hell that they create it on earth.

~ Cher and Oliver Stone like this.

~ Pat Robertson – You are a passive aggressive fat man. Have you become a fan of The 700 club yet?

~ Tom Cruise – You are both so ignorant. You are both so wrong. My Lord Xenu knew you when you were a mere pup, Siddhartha Gautama. You and Pat both need to Come to the Real Truth!

~ The Buddha – @Tom why do you feel the need to capitalize what are only words. Words hold no inherent power, they only point the way to the truth. Or Truth as you would say.

~ Tom Cruise – Don’t be glib Siddhartha.

~ Keanu Reeves – @Tom. dude i love you in that movie you did u should come check out my band somtime we should get 2gether and hang do u surf? i went surfing with buddha and JC the other day u want 2 surf with me to? it’ll be sick

~ Tom Cruise – @shit4brains- I’d rather have sex with a female.

~ Jesus Christ – Don’t resist the asshole Buddha, if you ignore him he’ll go away eventually.

~ Pat Roberson – My Lord, is that you?

~ Jesus Christ – I defriended you for a reason Pat, leave me alone.  

 

July 18th Mohammad– Hi Buddha. Thanks for the birthday wishes my brother. May a million spider webs protect you always.

~ The Buddha likes this.

 

July 19th The Buddha – Just chillin under a Bodhi tree with Patrick Swayze listening to some Nirvana hahaha!

~ The Buddha – There were like 3 jokes in that one. Why can’t you people just ‘like’ it?

~ Keanu Reeves likes this.

~ Keanu Reeves – dude, i got 2 of those funny jokes I was in the movie tell patrick that nobody puts baby in a corner hehehe he’ll get it!

~ Phil Jackson – @Keanu- Did your mother huff glue while breast feeding you? @Buddha- Hey B, I just came up with an inspiring and Zen inducing locker room speech, let me know when you have a minute to help me fine tune it.

~ Keanu Reeves – @Phil. your a dickbag

 

July 20th The Buddha wrote on Phil Jackson’s wall.

.

July 20th The Buddha– I heart fried peanut butter and Jelly toped with vanilla ice cream with a side of hot dogs and cheesy poofs!

~ Keanu Reeves – dude! mumumnomnomnom!

 

July 21st Ziggy Sobotka– Is this where I come to blow shit up and get 72 virgins?

~ The Buddha – No.

~ Mohammad – Oh Jesus Christ.

~ Jesus Christ – What?

~ Jesus Christ – Seriously, what?

August 19, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | 72 Comments