Zodi’s Blog

What were they thinking?

Every single time that someone commits an act of public stupidity, people everywhere beg the question; what were they thinking? Nobody however, offers us a truly honest explanation. Being the humble servant to public service that I am, I thought I’d shed some much needed light on a few of history’s greatest mysteries. This is what they were thinking…….

 

Kayne West, “Oh my God, please look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Please just look at meeeeee.”

 

Rob Blagojevich, “Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a gangster.”

 

Larry Craig, “What happens in the Minnesota airports men’s restroom stays in the Minnesota airport men’s restroom.”

 

Jim Jones, “What. The. Fuck. They told me this was gonna be Gatorade.”

 

King Henry The VIII, “I wonder where Ann is headed off to?”

 

Princess Di’s driver, “I knew I shouldn’t have done that last line of coke. Now I’m all edgy and shit.”

 

Mao Ze-Dong, “Well, there’s half my problem solved right there.”

 

Tonya Harding, “I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum. Which is what I am, I’m a bum.”

 

Pete Rose, “Hey batter, batter, swing batter, batter. Cause daddy needs a new pair of shoes.”

 

Mark Foley, “It’s just the internet, who’s gonna ever find out?”

 

Bernie Madoff, “I can’t believe I’m getting away with this shit.”

 

Eddie Murphy, “It’s not gay if she looks like a she.”

 

Richard Pryor, “Just one more blaze.”

 

Michael Hutchence and David Carradine, “This is gonna be so great.”

 

Lisa Nowak (internal dialog, all to herself), “Just be cool bitch. But I gotta pee. Look, tell that bitch to be cool. Bitch be cool and all this shit is gonna work out.”

 

Hitler, “If only the Goldberg gallery had bought even one painting. Aaughh.”

 

Schrödinger’s cat, “I’m soooo fucking confused.”

 

Mussolini, “This is my neighborhood; you should let me wet my beak a little.”

 

Kim Jong-Il- “I can’t believe they keep making me get that damn glaucoma test.”

 

Ahmadinejad- “No sane man would fuck with a man wearing such a nice Banana Republic jacket.”

 

Marsha Applewhite, (Heavens Gate) “This is gonna be so fuckin cool.”

 

Len Bias- “My future is paved in gold now baby.”

 

John Belushi and Chris Farley, “Definitely gotta go to rehab tomorrow.” 

 

Mark Sanford, “If it ain’t the same continent, it ain’t cheatin.”

 

Bill Clinton, “Hehe, everybody knows fat chicks give the best head. Hehe.”

 

Nixon, “Fuck em.”

 

Cheney, “Fuck em.”

 

Bush, “I wonder if Dick will let me have Saddam’s train set?”

 

OJ, “Come on man, you should know not to fuck with a brother’s white girl. Shoulda God damn better known better.”

 

Ted Haggard, “Dear lord Jesus, please avert your eyes for about an hour.”

 

Pontius Pilate, “I have a bad gut feeling about this. Ahh, I’m sure it’ll work out.”

September 18, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | 43 Comments