Zodi’s Blog

Kill Granny! The truth about Obamacare.

Danger!! Danger!!

 

In two unprecedented moves, the far right has aligned itself with a surprising ally in the fundamentalist Christians, and used fear as a strategy in a political battle. Harsh times call for harsh tactics and indeed this is the case as Obamacare is on the verge of not only taking over our lives, but actually taking our lives.  

 

“This is simply an informative campaign to educate the great seniors of this wonderful country about the imminent threat posed by health care reform,” said anti-abortion leader Randall Terry. So, as a public service I have helped to assimilate and organize all of the information available from the health care bill itself, as well as information gleaned from great American Christian websites and *other trusted sources. This is collaboration between Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, Shawn Hannity for a less scary America, Fred Thompson for higher ratings,  Rapture Ready, and sponsored by the NRA, Aetna, Cigna, UnitedHealth, WellPoint, and Lifelock “Because you shouldn’t have to feel afraid.”

 

So, in easy to understand language with new larger type, I now give you the assimilated list of dangers and threats from the new Socialist Care proposal. Some highlights of things that are about to happen to you or someone you love……

  

  • Prenatal care will now only be given to determine if you will be forced to have an abortion. There will be an impossible to understand, shifting scale based on demographics of the country, education, and religion. If you are white and middle class you will most likely be forced to have an abortion. An undertrained bureaucrat will perform the procedure. Your baby will then be recycled, by the enviro-fascists.
  • They will kill healthy Christian babies to harvest organs and plasma for sick Arab babies. Proving that Obama is a secret Muslim.
  • Beginning in the second grade, contraceptives will be handed out to your children as well as sexual education training and indoctrination into the homosexual lifestyle. Those who do not conform will be shot.
  • Obama is legalizing human cloning and is making a clone of himself even as we speak. He will then reverse the term limit laws and refuse to step down as president until his clone is of legal age. If this bill is passed he will effectively rule this country until after the pretribulation rapture. Then for seven years he will bring seven great plagues upon this earth.
  • Childhood immunizations would only cover ‘at risk’ children. No white babies would be covered.  
  • All drugs will be legalized and forced upon your children, ensuring a subservient, mollified, and sedated social class.  
  • You would never get to see your family doctor again. They would all be forced into re-education camps where they will conform or be shot. IF they make it back out; they will be known as practitioners of the occult!
  • You will have to go to the DMV to see a doctor and the post office to see a dentist.
  • Dr. Kevorkian will be appointed as a ‘Death Czar’ presiding over the newly formed Department of Euthanasia. A committee of bureaucrats will determine the age for forced mercy killings. This will be a sliding scale based on race, income, health, and religion. (WASPKILL) is the nickname of the board!   
  • Children will be forced into IQ, aptitude, strength, and agility testing to determine their placement in ‘The New Great Society.’ Those who do not fit in will be shot.
  • Routine check ups (at the DMV) will be mandatory every 2 months to determine when your ‘privilege to live’ will be revoked. When your time is up… you will be shot.
  • Once every 6 months there will be a surprise ‘inspection’ of every home in America to purportedly make sure conditions are safe and sanitary.  The truth is that they will be looking to confiscate your guns and bibles. 
  • There will be a ‘medical history chip’ implanted into your skin to supposedly prevent accidental deaths due to allergies and overdoses. The truth is however that you will be implanted with the number of the beast; fulfilling biblical prophesies.  If you do not take the number… you will be shot.

  

This is only the tip of the iceberg folks. Just wait until you see what Carpathia/Obama has in store for his second term. And the heathens believed that ‘Left Behind’ was just a book! It is up to the Christians, the righteous, the great patriots of this great nation to stop this legislation in its tracks. Do you really want to be dragged out of the beauty parlor by your brand new curls, and shot in the back of the head? NO? Then please send us your social security checks and large portions of your retirement accounts and life savings immediately.        

  

Who could ever guess that this wonderful man would be so prophetic when he said.. “Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.” –Pat Robertson

–All that, and the guy can squat 1800lb’s!!! God Bless Him!!

 

 When asked to defend his outrageously nefarious plans, President Obama proved that he is in fact the antichrist by offering a smarmy smile, a dry wit, and a misunderstood Descartes reference. When reporters found vice president Joe Biden at the local Hooters, Joe first favored the crowd with a loud belch an even louder guffaw and then said, “All this stuff he’s doin, it ought to be alright. I know if he tries to kill my dear old mother, I’ll be coming after him and his whole family with a sawed off shotgun! Really, I’m not joking. It should be ok though. Hey, who wants to have a couple beers with good ol’ Scranton Joe? There are a ton of hot babes in there with tiny little clothes on!!”

 

 

 

One aside- If you are republican, or a Christian, I don’t have a problem with you. I only have a problem with anybody that uses fear to generate money and support. Unfortunately, the Christian right has got it down to an art form. If we could just learn to speak rationally and honestly we would begin to move forward as a society.

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August 3, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , ,

26 Comments »

  1. I have nothing to say because Republicans and some of the people who call themselves Christians cause every last dreg of my sense of humor to shrivel up and die. While I saw the humor of your post, its intended targets, at least the lunatic fringe, are more likely to quote you as proof of their dire suspicions. They have no sense of humor, unless it involves contemplating someone else roasting in hell for an eternity while they roast marshmallows on the conflagration. I live in rural Colorado, the stae that brought Maralyn Musgrave to the House of Representatives so she could pursue her one woman agenda against homosexuality and premarital sex, and am surrounded these people — my Grandmother kicked me out of her home when I registered as a democrat. I don’t know how to fight them, but humor, while it makes us feel better, just doesn’t work.

    BTW, thanx for visiting my site.

    Comment by Bill Reed | August 3, 2009 | Reply

    • Oh I’m sure that half of the rednecks that read this are probably positive I’m on their side. It takes intelligence to decipher satire. I don’t try to fight the lunatics anyway; all I want to do is laugh!
      I’d ask why you still live there, but I can imagine that it must be one of the most beautiful places on earth.
      Thanks for the comment!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2009 | Reply

      • Inexplicably, I don’t live in the “beautiful” portion of Colorado; go figure. I guess I’ a masochist! 🙂

        Comment by Bill Reed | August 3, 2009 | Reply

        • Do you live in a landfill? I didn’t think that an unattractive part of Colorado existed.

          Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2009 | Reply

          • That’s because the only parts that get put in the tourist brochures are the mountains, but they never mention that the eastern half of the stae is fat and full of sagebrush, the next thing to desert.

            Comment by Bill Reed | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  2. Hah, “I have nothing to say” and then I leave this long rant. 🙂

    Comment by Bill Reed | August 3, 2009 | Reply

    • You are welcome to rant anytime here. As long as it brings me ratings and sponsers!!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2009 | Reply

  3. BTW, for added entertainment value, I look at the “Possibly related posts: (automatically generated).” Ypur post apparently shares something in common with “I hate my husband, part 3.” 😉

    Comment by Bill Reed | August 3, 2009 | Reply

    • How insanely ironic is that? My wife wrote that right after completing parts I & II. Her real name is Elisabeth Hasselbeck, I’m not sure why she’s so mad at me lately.

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  4. Call me politically-ignorant, but this Socialist Care Proposal thingy sounds like it just might work!

    I mean, how many people out there do you know that actually want to get shot? I don’t think there have been many studies done–another project you and I can collaborate on when I’m finished logisiticizing (is that a word?) the other projects–but I’m willing to bet that the majority of people would prefer not being riddled with bullet-holes to the alternative.

    I only wish they’d given out contraceptives when I was in the second grade…

    Comment by bschooled | August 3, 2009 | Reply

    • Without people doing ignorantly stupid things, without regaard to the consequences, the human race would have died out millenniums ago!

      Comment by Bill Reed | August 3, 2009 | Reply

    • bschooled- Actually now that I think about it the whole thing is golden! Free and legal drugs all day; plus I’ve always been a fan of conformity! Plus you have to admit that if they started executing everybody over 70, the roads would be a lot safer! Come to think of it both the DMV and the post office would be a lot less busy too! So it’ll be no big deal to get your checkups!! Plus if everybody were gay the world would be a lot happier, nicer place!! Plus, plus- You know they’d confiscate Limbaugh’s vocal cords!! I’m sold; where do I sign?

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 3, 2009 | Reply

      • Don’t worry about signing, Scott…I’ve already forged your signature based my analysis of your previous posts.

        I must say, you have quite the New Roman font about you…

        Comment by bschooled | August 4, 2009 | Reply

    • Bschooled- I get that all the time. I’m blessed in that way; a New Roman look, an ‘estrangelo edessa’ style, and a New York Times brain. I’m the total package if you are looking for script!!

      You can forge my signature anytime you want; I’ve already maxed out my credit on Lovejuice marketing and reality show start ups! I’m glad you signed me up for the free health care too!! Where can I get my free scag??

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  5. Scary stuff there.. Did someone really say/write all those? OH shit, where do they come from?????

    Comment by delicate flower | August 3, 2009 | Reply

    • They are a scary cult called “Christian Fundamentalist Republicans.” Some of them may be in your neighborhood … becasue they’re everywhere … mehahahaha!

      Comment by Bill Reed | August 3, 2009 | Reply

    • From the mind of one truly sick and twisted individual! It’s not really to far off from what they are really saying if not thinking though. I mean the nutcases, not normal people. If you google RR BB you will come upon some of the craziest stuff on the net today! Still, even they cannot match my penchant for instilling fear in the bingo brigade. (Or just having a laugh.)

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  6. When people start talkin’ healthcare and politics and government and Christians my eyes glaze over and I start to… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Comment by Ramblin' Rooster | August 4, 2009 | Reply

    • I see they’ve already got to you! Damn it. You’re eyes are glazed over and you are nodding out; they’ve started you on the heroin. Okay walk down to your nearest public works building and get a free 20 rock; that’ll perk you back up a little!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2009 | Reply

      • Good thinkin’… last thing I remember you said something about health care?

        Comment by Ramblin' Rooster | August 6, 2009 | Reply

  7. Hee Hee. Very good. I hope this post wakes up the sheeple that follow Obama. His ilk must be destroyed before they destroy America.

    I love Pat Robertson. His quotes are comedic gold. He says that Christians are the most persecuted group in America, so much in fact that all 44 Presidents have been Christians. WTF? Cheers!!

    Comment by Matt-Man | August 4, 2009 | Reply

    • I know…right! I mean how can you even compare being able to legally buy and sell an entire race of people, or having 6 million people die in mass genocide, to the horror of losing Roe VS Wade or having the ten commandments taken off the courthouse steps in Roanoke Virginia. The Christians really suffer today. Thank God they have God on their side or just imagine how bad it would get!
      For more hilarity from Pat just google “Pat Robertson quotes!” –Fun for the whole family!

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 4, 2009 | Reply

  8. “If we could just learn to speak rationally and honestly we would begin to move forward as a society.”

    It is quite obvious you are not a:
    1. Southerner
    2. Republican
    3. Right wing conservative nut job who believes Sarah Palin is making great strides for women and will be the Republican nominee in 2012

    It is also quite obvious that you are:
    1. rational
    2. open-minded
    3. a Communist

    😀

    Comment by Pammy | August 6, 2009 | Reply

    • Damn you nailed me! I don’t know what gave me away. I did live in Florida for 5 great years but that is not really the south. Thank God! I was wondering if you’d join my new political bloc, ‘The Florida, non-southern, open-minded, non-republican, rational communists against Palin 2012!?!?

      Comment by Scott Oglesby | August 6, 2009 | Reply

  9. I invite you to Google “David Letterman’s Hate, Etc.” which lists some mighty interesting articles! Great reading!

    Comment by Rachel | August 8, 2009 | Reply


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